“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12.  Jesus, does anyone?”

                                            —–Stand by Me

Who decided that our soul mate has to be a romantic partner? Besides my sisters, I can count on one hand the women in my life that I know will be with me forever. No matter what. Time. Distance. Circumstance.  These four women are the people I consider my soul mates.  I see them as an extension of myself.  A reflection back to me of who I am; and usually the best of who I am.

Everyone has that first best friend.  If she’s still there when you’re 50, consider yourself lucky. I don’t remember actually meeting my first best friend.  She went to my church, which in the Greek community means she was basically family by that fact alone.  We grew up together. A girl with only brothers that became the fourth sister in my family and spent many a night at my house.

When you are 10 or 12, your best friend is your lifeline.  Adolescence and puberty suck, and you need a partner to help you get through it. She was that lifeline for me. We talked about boys, complained about our parents, borrowed each other’s clothes, and went on fad diets together.  We hung out in my bedroom waiting for our favorite song to come on the radio so we could record it on our cassette players.  We argued about who was going to marry Rob Lowe, put Sun-In on our hair, and listened to the same REO Speedwagon records over and over.

We took care of each other in complementary ways.  For as sheltered as I was, my upbringing was nothing compared to her protective immigrant parents.  I taught her all the things a girl who was going through adolescence should know. She taught me how to cook and clean.  Well, not really.  But she tried. She did once make an entire dinner at my apartment so I could pass it off as my own to my boyfriend at the time.

She was one of six people in the room when my mom died.

Your first best friend is like your first love.  You just never forget the details. That girl has stuck with me forever.  Soul mate material.

Coincidentally, I met another Greek girl around this same time also at church. Our grandparents are from the same village, which is a big deal in the Greek culture. I have laughed more with this girl than probably anyone else I know.  Something always seems to go awry when we are together.  When I am with her I know to buckle up because something crazy is going to happen, most of which I can’t print here.

But I don’t discount fun as a less important part of my life.  Our escapades have revolved around some of my most important and influential life events.  And she was there to experience them with me.  The formative things that happened to me before I was married, most of them involving faith and friendship, all occurred with her by my side. We have seen the best of each other and the worst.  We can share the most embarrassing things with each with no judgement.  There are occasions in my life that only she would understand because she was there.   And when someone shares such significant events with you, that is a bond that cannot ever be broken.  Definition of soul mate.

Believe it or not, I actually have some non-Greek friends, too!  On the first day of Jr. High as I was walking to class I noticed a really cute boy in the hallway.  I mean REALLY cute.  Enough so to say to a random group of girls in the classroom, “There is a completely gorgeous guy in the hallway!”   Well, a petite, talkative, extroverted girl went running to check him out and suddenly exclaimed while laughing, “THAT’S MY BROTHER!!!”  And at that point I knew we just HAD to be friends.

Her family became my family.  We spent a lot of time at her house, and hanging with her mom and dad was as normal and fun as hanging with my mom and dad. This one I put on a pedestal that she doesn’t think she belongs on, but she does.  She is always happy.  Always. She adjusts to everything with ease and never feels sorry for herself.  I have never heard her complain once.  She is the example of what your life can be like if you have a grateful and positive spirit.  She is radiant inside and out.  And years ago when I was going through a hard time, she dropped everything and left her three kids to fly across the country to take care of me.

See? Soul mate.

Although I am book smart, I am not so common sense smart.  And on that same first day of school, I realized I didn’t know how to open my locker. Luckily, a freckle-faced girl had the locker right next to mine. Instead of asking her to teach me, for the first few days I just waited for her in between every class so she could do it for me. This is how we became friends.

This one has been with me through everything.  She is the one I admit things to that I don’t even want to say out loud.  She loves me more than I love me.  She sees the best in me.  She makes me feel like I’m worth something.  She ALWAYS knows what to say.  I just feel better talking to her.  And as I struggle to impress how significant she is to me, I can only assume this is because our relationship is such a part of my survival that I can’t even write about it.  It’s like trying to write why your mom is important or why you love your children.  Words cheapen it.  All I can say is she makes me feel safe.  And isn’t that how you would describe a soul mate?

I am forever grateful for these four women.   Through the ups and downs of life, and the friendships that come and go, these girls have been a constant for me.  And I’ll be honest, there is something special and comforting to me knowing they knew my parents.  Because how can anyone really know you if they’ve never known where you come from?   These girls know ALL of me.  And even with all of that, they still love me.

Oh, and in case you were wondering…that brother? Still gorgeous.