It seems March 2020 has been canceled. (and yes, spellcheck just informed me I spelled canceled wrong.) This whiteboard, which is usually bursting with color-coded activities, is blank. We even made a paper chain to get us through the next three weeks because quite frankly, the only way I can cope is by thinking in terms of three weeks.

Every generation has their world life event that they look back on and remember with extreme clarity.  For my parents’ generation, it was JFK getting shot.  For me, the tragedy of September 11th is ingrained in my memory.

I hope my children don’t have too many of these events in their life.  But I know that this quarantine will be one of them.  Someday, they will look back at their life and count this as a surreal point in time.  And we are just beginning. How I felt Friday is completely different from how I felt Tuesday and how I feel today.  Things are changing so quickly that I have no idea what will be going on in the world next week or tomorrow.

DON’T STOP READING…IT’S GOING TO GET FUNNY!!

First, let me start by issuing a disclaimer.  I am taking this virus very seriously.  My intention is not to be flippant about the severity of what’s happening.  But we could all use a little humor and let’s face it, staying at home with all of our family members for an unlimited amount of time is going to be HARD.  That being said, being at home with all of our family members is also going to be HUMOROUS.  Even if it is the kind of “I want to strangle you right now but someday we will look back on this and laugh” sort of humor.

So please enjoy my online journal as I document my time as a mother, cook, maid, laundress, mediator, and now, homeschool parent.

Side note: It’s too bad that I used the intro to the Real World when I blogged about my summer vacation last year because honestly, there is no better description right now than those words: This is the true story, of four family members, stuck in a house, living together, working together, except we can’t leave.  Find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.

Day One: (Saturday, March 14th)

No one gets out of bed until noon.  This is not a lie.  It’s almost as if we live in the southern hemisphere and have no idea if it’s day or night with nothing to do and endless amounts of time to do it.  It is day one and the kids are happy.  They both texted me from school yesterday excited they had so much time off.  Franny spends most of the day making a fort in her room.  I can hardly believe it. Maybe this will be a time for renewed creativity?  Back to the good old days before technology!  Nope, it turns out, she has been face-timing with all of her friends the entire time.  And when I say face-timing with her friends, I mean SEVEN GIRLS are talking to each other at the same time in their respective forts.  Good thing we are past the days of shared data plans.  She asks if she can hang out with them.  Ummm…you ARE hanging out with them.  And also…UMMM…NO?  Why do you think there is no school? We are supposed to be staying AWAY from people.  She spends approximately 8 hours on the phone with them, but she is keeping herself busy and she isn’t on traditional electronics so I’m ok with this virtual “hang.”

Teddy also asks if he can hang at his friend’s house?  UMMM NO?  I am not understanding why everyone thinks this is some fun vacation.  He is MAD.  He decides that if it’s too dangerous to hang with four kids at a house, then certainly 100 are too many to be with tomorrow at church.  He announces he will NOT be going to church for safety purposes.  Unlike his sister, he has not made any sort of a fort and I assume is not talking with his friends since as far as I am aware, he DOESN’T SEEM TO KNOW HOW TO ANSWER TEXTS OR PHONECALLS.   He settles for playing Xbox all day.

Later that night church is canceled.  It’s an unprecedented move and stunning to the church metropolis.  I can tell from my kids’ faces they are torn between fear (things are bad if church services are canceled) and masked glee (we are getting a vacation from church!)  I guess they have momentarily forgotten their dad can find an online Divine Liturgy faster than he can sniff out the last banana.

We end the night playing Monopoly.  A game I usually groan at, but since we have all the time in the world and still like each other, it seems appropriate.  I am out sooner than you should be while playing Monopoly, even WITH houses on all the yellow properties and Boardwalk.

Today has seemed ok and like a regular weekend.  We order pizza and still hand cash to the driver with a shared wink, haha, this will be over soon and see you next Saturday.  (oh, yes, hindsight tells us that next Saturday I will be choosing between “contactless delivery” and “curbside pickup”.)

Day one is in the books and we still have hope.  I can DO this for three weeks.

Post note: I realize I am a week behind.  Believe it or not, I have been busy with all this “time off” and so I am playing some catch up here. But honestly, does it even matter?  At this point, I don’t even know what day it is.  And let’s face it, how much stuff can happen within my four walls?  Also, my mental health may get to a state where these diary entries might get ugly.