Category Archives: Uncategorized

aging, fashion, humor, Taylor Swift, Uncategorized

The Eras Tour (Samantha’s Version)

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you are aware of the phenomenon that is the Taylor Swift Eras Tour. I was lucky enough to be able to attend her concert with my niece Natalie when the show came to Chicago.

First came the outfit planning. I can honestly say that I spent more time trying to figure out what I was going to wear to this concert than I did to my nephew’s wedding, which was occurring the following weekend. For that one person out there who isn’t aware, there was a whole thing about which Era/Album you were going to represent via your outfit. This concert was not just a concert, it was a collective event for Swifties.

I made the mistake of telling a young teacher at work that I was unprepared and stressed and might just have to channel the Evermore Era and wear a flannel shirt. Not as cool or sexy as the black biker shorts and bralette she was going to be wearing from the Reputation Era, but at least I would be comfortable. When she responded “That’s OK, that’s what my mom is wearing,” I realized I had reached an ultimate low. I mean, I know I am a mom, and I know I am old enough to be HER mom, but I still didn’t want to be reminded that I was going to be DRESSING like a mom.

Add that to the fact that this was early June and I get sweaty just by telling an exciting story, I decided to forgo the flannel shirt and wear pink and represent the Lover Era. 

Natalie came into town the night before and we set to work on our friendship bracelets. Apparently, there is a line in one of Taylor’s songs about friendship bracelets. Not a whole song, or a song title, or an album title, just ONE LINE about making friendship bracelets, and the next thing you know we’re all furiously pulling out our bead-making kits from the 6th grade. I mean, Nena had some great lines in her songs, but you didn’t see me showing up to her concert in 1983 with 99 red balloons did you? 

As soon as we arrived at Soldier Field Natalie insisted on getting in a line longer than Peter Pan’s Flight at Disney World so we could get “merch.” (this is what you call over-priced t-shirts, posters, tote bags, etc.) You can get the same stuff online but it is not the same as the experience of waiting in a long line with others who have the same obsession as you. One hour later when we were three spots closer, they closed down the booth because they had run out of all the merch. One thousand disappointed females in sequins and cowboy boots and fedoras (I did not see ANY flannel shirts) dispersed to their seats. 

As we wandered through the stadium looking for our seats, every once in a while a concert-goer walked up to Natalie and asked her to trade bracelets. This was the part of the night I had been waiting for. The trading had begun! What style bracelet would I get? Which one of my own was I willing to part with? I waited eagerly for the tweens and teens to ask me to trade.

Reader, it is a mystery why no one wanted to trade with a sweaty mom wearing heart-shaped glasses and a sparkle headband. Needless to say, I went home with the same bracelets I arrived with. 

Finally, the moment arrived. Taylor appeared and the concert began. Almost immediately, she started singing her hit song, “Cruel Summer.” I was happily singing my heart out with thousands of teenage girls and their moms, when suddenly Natalie started screaming “THE FIRST BRIDGE! THE FIRST BRIDGE!” When I tell you I was confused, I mean that I was confused. But I didn’t have time to ask her because suddenly the part I had been practicing for weeks was upon us. I quickly FaceTimed Franny so she could witness me nailing the line. 

“He looks up grinning like the Devil,” the entire crowd screamed, except for me who was screeching out the wrong words two beats behind everyone else, all while FaceTiming Franny and looking around Soldier Field for that damn bridge.

(And if you’re wondering, yes, I did learn later that the part of the song I had been trying to learn is called (surprise!) a “bridge.” Taylor is known for her bridges and this was the first one she sang at her show. Hence: THE FIRST BRIDGE! I mean, it all makes sense now.)

Side Note: Natalie of course nailed it. This is because Natalie knows every word to every song. And I don’t mean this as in “Natalie knows all the words” in a casual way. I mean this as in a very literal “I seriously think that she might know the entire catalog of Taylor Swift songs and that with her kind of photographic memory maybe I should take her to Vegas.”

As the concert progressed I realized there were many songs where special chants, claps and dances were added that everyone in the audience seemed to collectively know but me and probably some other middle-aged moms who are not on TikTok. But I was still trying to figure out the actual lyrics, never mind made up ones that the secret Swiftie society created. I imagine this would never happen in the 80’s before social media (except for maybe during Billy Idol’s Mony Mony where added phrases created much excitement to high school dances).

Finally, we got to the surprise songs. Taylor introduced the acoustic guitar song by telling the crowd, “This one is pretty new.” In fact, it had been released 9 days earlier. She played about three chords of it and Natalie began to literally shriek, “IT HITS DIFFERENT!!” And by shrieking, I mean imagine it is 1964 and the Beatles have just arrived. (For those of you reading who don’t know who the Beatles are, think One Direction). Why I was surprised Natalie was able to identify a song just released the previous week after only three notes, I don’t know. In a shocking turn of events, she also knew all the words. 

After three hours of music, dancing, and singing, the concert ended. Whether you like Taylor Swift or not, no one can deny she puts on a heck of a show. It was phenomenal.

***Stay tuned for parts two and three of my Taylor Swift blog trilogy: One: I attend the Taylor Swift movie by arriving 3 1/2 hours early and end up initiating hesitant movie theater-goers to get on their feet and dance. Two: I spend $20 (again) to watch the movie on TV while wearing my Taylor Swift 1989 cardigan sweater. That hasn’t occurred yet, but knowing me, something will happen to write about.***

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Running with Jesus

***This is an old Facebook post that came up in my memories that I thought was too funny not to share here. Some of you may remember it. ***

My stream of consciousness as I’m running this evening: 

Wow, I’m at a pretty good pace today! I can tell because I’m hot and sweaty and tired and on song number four of my playlis—–whaa???—-Is that a BIBLE on the sidewalk? (Still running) Crap. It is. Ugh. (Passing the bible) Now I gotta go back. I gotta.  I have no choice. (Turning around going back.) Hmmm. It’s kind of right in front of this house. I wonder if the owners are inside? If I knock on the door will they think I’m a Bible salesman or a Jehovah’s Witness? This feels weird. Just put it in a safe corner here on the grass and come back and get it after my run. Oh man, there’s a name engraved on it. There’s pressed flowers inside. It’s important to someone. No, I  can’t do that. I’ll for sure get hit by a car on my way home if I do that. (Picking up the 10 lb hardcover four-versions-in-one bible). Ok. I’ll just keep running. I only have about five minutes left, I can do this. It’s a Bible for goodness’ sake it should make my load “lighter” ha ha. Stop it. You should not make jokes about the Bible. Nope doesn’t feel any lighter.  I wonder if all these drivers are wondering “Hey, who’s the crazy lady running with the Bible? Why doesn’t she just listen to the audio version?” This is getting pretty heavy. Think I will just walk the rest of the way home.   

If anyone knows Teresa Dotson, please let her know I have her bible.

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Being greek, exercise, Family, humor, Marriage, Motherhood, Uncategorized

Climb Every Mountain

The Pictured Rocks are spectacular but can be dangerous to the careless hiker. Fifteen miles of the North Country Trail are atop 50-200 foot high cliffs. Cliff tops are covered with loose sand and gravel–National Park Service website

Recently my family and I took a road trip around Lake Michigan. We love road trips and I had always wanted to visit Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore and Tahquamenon Falls. The plan was to drive up through Wisconsin with an overnight in Marquette and spend the next day touring the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

Now, we have a long-running joke in our family. Ted and my kids think it’s hilarious that I consider myself “outdoorsy.” This irritates me to no end, as I’d venture that I’m much more outdoorsy than they’d like to believe. I could spend a paragraph detailing the many activities that I like to do outdoors but that would be boring. I could also list all the ways Ted is indoorsy, which I could make very funny and not boring, but that isn’t the point of the story. The point I am trying to make is just because I like air conditioning and I prefer hotels to camping does not mean I don’t like nature.

This leads me to our very ambitious National Park Adventure. Yes, this suburban Greek family who usually works their vacation spots around the nearest Starbucks and Culver’s was going to spend a few days in the forests and hills of the Upper Peninsula. Without Wi-Fi.

I had done a lot of research and found some short hikes we could enjoy during our trip across the Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore. Pictured Rocks is 42 miles long with 15 miles of cliffs. My plan was to make our way through the length of the park, stopping at a number of lookout points including waterfalls, cliff overlooks, sand dunes, and lighthouses. We only had a day to get through quite a few scenic spots while still assuring we could get to Sault Ste. Marie by nightfall. A big day was planned.

I noticed on the map that each stop had a short walk to the actual site. It seemed like a perfect day of exploring. We would “hike” to the photo spot, take our requisite pictures, and move on. This would certainly add up to several miles by the end of the day.

Except that wasn’t really the “hiking” trip I had sold to my family. By the time we got to the second stop, Teddy was asking when we were going to hike. Before I could answer, he noticed the signpost reading that the next scenic stop, Miners Castle, was only 4.9 miles away.

Now let me stop right here. Five miles is no easy trek. Most people who are not regular hikers who are in their 50s and possibly have a few extra pounds on them might balk at this. But also most people who have promised a hiking adventure and are a little bit scared of their kids and also have a little pride might NOT balk at this. So there we were.

I tried to warn them.

Teddy assured me he would be fine. After all, he reminded me, he could run about three miles in half an hour. Teddy, who is 17 and plays soccer and does CrossFit. I was not worried about Teddy. I was worried about Ted, who is 54 and does not play soccer or do CrossFit. I wasn’t sure he could make 4.9 miles on a moving walkway let alone on rugged terrain in the wilderness. Let me remind you of the description on the website: The Pictured Rocks are spectacular but can be dangerous to the careless hiker. Fifteen miles of the North Country Trail are atop 50-200 foot high cliffs. Cliff tops are covered with loose sand and gravel.

The idea of 4.9 miles didn’t scare me. The idea of 9.8 miles did. No one seemed to be considering that we had to get back as well. It was already 12:30 in the afternoon. Once we started hiking it would be at least three hours until we got back. Never mind the fact we wouldn’t be able to eat until we got back because we didn’t have a backpack big enough to carry four Jimmy Johns Number 4s and four bags of Salt and Vinegar chips and certainly nothing to keep the sandwiches cold and the chips unharmed.

Side note: This was actually my thought process as I was trying to decide if we should make the trek. Now that it’s over and I know the actual conditions and time it took, it’s all I can do to not laugh/cry with shock at our complete and utter naiveté in undertaking this excursion.

But even after discussing the complications that could arise, we were all game to try. I think I can say we had passed the point of “outdoorsy” by that point.

I cannot oversell the stupidity of this decision. Almost immediately, the path sloped upward and we began climbing the 200-foot high mountain in front of us. At certain parts there were steps made from wooden planks, however, even having stairs as a crutch, climbing 200 of them was no easy feat for out-of-shape suburbanites. The ground was covered in tree roots and underbrush and you had to keep your head down the entire time to make sure you wouldn’t fall or trip on anything. This quiet focus allowed for a lot of internal musings, the result being that soon into the journey I began to lose any rationale I had started with.

Is it possible there are bears in this forest? Of course there are. How could there not be? I don’t remember what to do when you encounter a bear. Do you back away from bears and avoid eye contact or are they the ones you run toward screaming and make yourself look bigger? Why have I been spending all this time watching TikTok videos of dogs doing adorable things when I could have been watching videos of how to repel bears? Wait. I actually think they make bear repellent. Is it a spray or a horn? How could I be so concerned about my Turkey Tom with cucumbers and not even think about bear repellant?

It went on and on.

Panic had set in. Honestly, I was not even sure that in this state I would save my children had we come across a bear right then. (There was that time I saw a mouse in the kitchen when my kids were toddlers and I ran screaming for my life into the next room and jumped on a desk leaving them to fend for themselves.) I could not guarantee any maternal instincts would kick in.

Once I started thinking about the bears there was no end to my imagination. What about snakes? Of course there would be snakes in a forest filled with trees and creeks. What about coyotes? Foxes? I was used to these back in Downers Grove, but usually in a neighborhood where I was close to other homes where I could scream for help. There was no one around here. And if I DID scream, wouldn’t that just help the bears locate me faster? This insanity elevated until I truly started thinking that I might run into a bobcat or mountain lion. Now I know I tend to exaggerate, but if you have ever been in a situation where fear takes hold of you and your imagination kicks in, you will understand where I was right then. At the time, all of these thoughts seemed very reasonable to me.

Suddenly a calm came over me as I realized that old joke, “You only have to run faster than the slowest person,” and I knew I would be safe. I would miss Ted, but we would manage on our own somehow.

Sometime around this point, Teddy announced we were about a third of the way there. We had been walking for about an hour and twenty minutes. ONE-THIRD OF THE WAY THERE. This hour and twenty minutes felt more like 3 hours in dog time or mountain lion time or 50-year-old-walking-over-tree-roots time.

Ted and I looked at each other with concern. Not only concern that we would not make it for two more hours, but concern that our kids would be mad at us if we made them turn around. This may sound ridiculous, but if you have teenagers you know they can be moody and change on a dime. As parents, there are times when you will play Rock/Paper/Scissors to avoid difficult conversations, or even non-difficult conversations, or let’s face it, sometimes even ANY conversations. Oh yeah, did I mention that Ted had already “twisted his knee,” “stubbed his toe,” and broken a shoe? So we were not in good shape.

This is when Ted suggested getting a Uber for the way back. Let me remind you that we were in the Upper Peninsula in the Hiawatha National Forest without Wi-Fi. But sure, calling an Uber was going to be our solution. The closest we were going to get to an Uber was hoping another tourist family had room in their car and would drive us back and not murder us on the way.

Suddenly, we came upon two women in their mid-30s coming from the opposite direction. Based on their hiking shoes and travel backpacks they were experienced hikers. (So far, you may have been imagining a bustling path filled with periodic mile-markers and tourists exchanging pleasantries. You would be wrong. For one and a half hours we did not see one sign or one person. They were the first.)

“People!” I shouted, as if I were Tom Hanks in Castaway and had been shipwrecked for years. “We haven’t seen anyone this whole time!” They said hello and stopped to get a drink of water from their earth-friendly water filtration bottles. (It is possible that this was when I slowly and inconspicuously shifted my plastic Venti Strawberry Refresher cup behind my back.)

“How far have you guys been walking?” I asked.

“Oh, for like 35 miles,” one said with a wave of her hand, graciously trying to downplay and not embarrass me.

“We are headed to Miners Castle, do you know how much farther that is?”

“Oh yeah, you’re about halfway there,” she answered. “But there isn’t water there. Or bathrooms. And I don’t know how hard the terrain has been so far, but it’s really bad the rest of the way. Lots of mud.”

I got the distinct impression these women did not think we could make it the rest of the way. I don’t know if it was my Starbucks cup, fashion backpack, or Burberry sunglasses that gave it away, but something screamed suburban mom to her. Dare I say, something screamed “indoorsy” about us.

Whatever. We could make this trip as easily as they could with their fancy camping gear and environmentally safe water bottles.

And then one of them mentioned they had seen a bear.

Yep, we were turning back. Those women were right about us after all.

I made some quick mental calculations: By the time we reached our destination, snapped a picture and returned, we would not get back to our car until close to 7 pm if we were lucky. (Providing we couldn’t find the line of Ubers Ted was counting on.) At least we would save time not being able to go to the bathroom or drink any water. Who knows what time it would get dark in these thick woods. Who knows how many creepy animals would come out then. Who knows how many twigs Ted would stumble over. We could NOT carry Ted through the woods if he became immobile. Our only other option would be to hitchhike and probably end up in the back of a local’s pick-up truck nestled among his deer carcasses.

After they moved on, Ted and I made the executive decision we needed to turn back. We broke the news to the kids. Not surprisingly, the kids were furious we were giving up on the promised hike. Teddy stomped off yelling, “I just once wanted to do something cool! We are not a hiking family! We are the LAZY FAMILY!!”.

Yes, yes we are. We are also the ALIVE family I’d like to mention.

It took us another hour and a half to get back, and by then we were all talking again. We ate our sandwiches and drove to Miners Castle. It was gorgeous and a great spot for pictures. We saw a waterfall, a sandy beach, and the beautiful rock formation jutting out into the lake.

You know what we didn’t see?

Ubers.

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On the road again…

Driving from Savannah to Hilton Head

Our family loves road trips. This is how I vacationed as a kid and I have passed this love on to my kids. I have even converted Ted. There is nothing like being in a car together and doing things we can only do on the road: Stopping whenever we want. Visiting tacky tourist traps. Engaging in the always competitive License Plate Game. (Which I won.)

Something about exploring the United States really brings us together.

This year we decided to take a road trip to Savannah with a stop in Nashville.

Another bonus of driving is that I can take as much luggage as I want. So for one week I pack 14 outfits (one for day and one for night). Yes, I realize that not once have I ever changed my clothes mid-day on a vacation, but I am pretty sure this is the trip where I will start a new tradition. I bring four pairs of shoes. Yes, it’s possible I will not wear heels since we are headed to a walking city and to the beach, but I might need those grey strappy sandals with the stacked heel. I will feel better having them with me. I also make sure to include a different pair of earrings and different necklaces for each outfit. I mean, okay, I know I usually wear studs every day, but you never know. I want to be prepared. And finally, I load my travel bag with my entire skin care and makeup regimen plus back up makeup and an exfoliating mask and WHY YES I AM BRINGING THAT SPARKLY EYESHADOW I LAST WORE ON NEW YEAR’S EVE 2018 why do you ask??

I end up wearing the same two pairs of stretchy pants and t-shirts the entire time.

Since we are headed to 75-degree weather, the kids and I hop in the car ready for the heat. We are wearing t-shirts and shorts. Ted is wearing Loyola clothes and dressed for a blizzard. He does not care that we are headed south, he is determined to show his support for his alma mater because they are playing in the Sweet Sixteen this year. This includes a Loyola sweatshirt, Loyola t-shirt underneath, Loyola hat, and the pièce de résistance: his Loyola scarf. Due to the unfortunate coincidence of Loyola and Gryffindor having the same school colors, the scarf is the accessory that causes friends and strangers alike to wonder why a grown man is dressed as Harry Potter.

Since our trip was last minute, we couldn’t get our dog into the kennel we usually use. After researching a few other options, we get a referral from a friend who knows a young woman looking for some work while on break.

Side Note: Someday I may write a whole blog on how differences in what married couples value can cause Friction but for right now I will just say that along with Faith and Family, Ted values Security. This means he bolts the door when he is in the house, no matter what time of day it is. When you arrive home, you might be locked out and actually have to phone from the other side of the door for someone to let you in. It also means he sets the house alarm when he leaves, even if you are home, leading to blaring sirens when you open the back door to let the dog out. Or, if you are walking the dog and you are gone for a while, he might call to find out if you are ok. “Yes. I’m fine. It’s NOON. I have a DOG with me. I am IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.” You can see how when one spouse values security and let’s just say, hypothetically, the other values independence, there might be conflict. But like I said, that’s for another blog.

Here is my point: everything he does is done with thoughts of safety and security at the forefront.

That’s why, for Christmas, I got Ted a Ring doorbell which came with a Blink camera. I don’t know how we did not have either of these gadgets already with Ted’s job (and life) being all about Security and Loss Prevention, but it was LITERALLY and FIGURATIVELY Christmas morning for Ted. He immediately set them both up on Christmas Day. I will say, the doorbell has been a real benefit since before this we did not have a doorbell and we live on a busy street. The camera, on the other hand, is set up in the kitchen and really just acts as a decorative accessory. It’s hooked up to an app so I can see (and hear) what’s happening in the kitchen from my phone. “Ted, I see you are getting ice cream. Please bring me some too.” In reality, the only time this camera has been used is by me when I am at work and I want to check on the kids during lunch and scare them. “I SEE YOU TAKING AN EXTRA BAG OF CHIPS!”

Back to my story. A very pleasant and agreeable young woman comes over to meet us. I will call her “Georgina.” Because her name was Georgina. We like her, Athena likes her, and we decide to hire her to watch our house and dog. But she is still a stranger to us, so I decide I’m not going to just leave my valuables out for all to see. Did I mention we have a heavy, metal safe that we don’t use that takes up a bunch of room in our closet? Ted has the idea that I should put my jewelry box in the safe and then hide the safe inside his car in the garage. He is concerned the safe is not drilled into the floor and someone can just steal the whole safe. I am concerned it is way easier to break into our garage and steal our car than move a 500-pound safe I literally cannot budge with my own weight.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), my jewelry box does not fit inside the safe. I find a good place to hide it and come back to see Ted putting his “spare wallet” inside the safe. Here I am worried about valuable and sentimental jewels passed down for generations while Ted is locking away his Best Buy and Firestone cards. The kids and I pack the car while Ted sets the house up a la Kevin McCallister in Home Alone. He moves the Blink camera to the very inconspicuous living room windowsill with the cord running down the middle of the couch. He makes sure all the windows are locked and outdoor lights are on. I am waiting for him to put marbles on the hallway floor and rig the doggie door.

Finally, we are on the road. I’m navigating and Ted is driving, which is the way it always is even though it usually ends in arguments and missed exits. Today, it results in Ted’s rotary mishap where we end up going around the entire traffic-circle twice as everyone is shouting instructions. Suddenly, we are the Griswolds maneuvering Southeast Indiana.

I stop being the navigator and turn Waze on through the car Bluetooth in order to decrease arguments since it is only Day One after all. I browse through the voices looking for Cookie Monster. (If you haven’t used Cookie Monster as your guide, you are missing out. He is full of entertainment). I can’t find Cookie Monster, so I choose “Boy Band English” instead. I have no idea what it is but it seems like it might be good. “Good” is an understatement. For the rest of the day it seems like Davy Jones, Harry Styles is giving us directions. “Heavy traffic reported ahead,” he says in his lilting voice. It doesn’t matter how many times we hear him, we never get tired of hearing his traffic report in his singsong voice.

As we travel along, sheer boredom causes me to start getting invested in Waze. Did you know you can become a Waze Editor? Relax, I did not do that. Not only does it seem like a big commitment, but also I am not very good with directions and I can see thousands of people getting lost as I start changing street names and highway exits and highlighting Starbucks stores. As we travel along, I notice that Waze will occasionally ask me, “Still there?” I will admit, at first, I thought he was asking me if I was alert and paying attention, like when my Toyota asks me if I need a coffee break when my driving is slow or erratic. But no, Davy was asking me if the roadblock he just told me about was “still there.”

This is like an epiphany for me. Suddenly I am drunk with Waze power. “Pothole straight ahead.” Still there? Yes! The pothole is still there. “Police up ahead,” Davy sings. “Still there?” NO! He is gone! NOT THERE! CLICK! This keeps me busy for about 20 minutes until it becomes way too much responsibility and focus for me.

About midway through the ride I receive a text from a family friend that includes her husband and Ted on it as well. I respond to her text and suddenly hear a (seemingly unrelated) barking sound. “Where did that come from?” I say, looking around to see if someone is watching a funny animal video. “Oh,” Ted says, “that’s my notification for your texts.” WAIT WHAT? My notification is a BARK?? Who is the dog, Ted? I am the dog? I am the dog?

We arrive in Nashville making very good time, however, with the weather forecast, we know that we have only a little bit of light left before the rain hits us. What exactly do Greek people do with limited time in the great city of Nashville? Do we go listen to country music? No way, there is no Bouzouki player in a country band. Do we go have the famous hot chicken or BBQ? Of course not, it’s LENT for goodness sakes! No, instead, like every good Greek American family, we go visit the exact replica of the Parthenon!! Yep, we did it. Thankfully we take some pictures just as it gets dark. Phew.

By the time we get to the hotel, it is pouring rain. There is a flood advisory. We are supposed to leave in the morning for Savannah.

Ted: What time is check-out? There is a flood advisory. We might have to stay here for a while tomorrow.

Me: We are not staying here. There is not going to be a flood.🙄🙄 Suddenly I am reminded of the great Wyoming tornado chase of 2016. Ted wanted to stop in a random Dollar Store out in the middle of nowhere and ask to go in their basement and I wanted him to step on the gas while I watched the radar. (See Security vs. Independence)

And how did our road trip end? Well, we left the next day (as scheduled) and ended up making it to Savannah safely, and having a lovely four days. I wore the same two outfits, did not change my jewelry once, and never pulled out those grey strappy heels. Georgie did a fabulous job watching our house and our dog. Athena loved Georgie and got lots of attention and trips to the dog park. My jewelry was safe and Ted’s Best Buy card was not compromised. In fact, I would say Spring Break 2021 was a success for everyone.

Well, for everyone except Loyola.

And in case you were wondering…back in 2016? We did outrun that tornado.

  • Ted in his Loyola/Gryffindor Colors (BTW…if you know him, you know he is clearly a Hufflepuff)
  • The Parthenon

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2020: Good riddance?

Today marks one week into January. It seems like everyone was looking forward to a new year more than usual this year due to the awfulness of 2020. Of course, we all know that just changing from 12/31 to 1/1 isn’t going to make that much of a difference in our personal lives, let alone in the global sense. Still, there is hope around the corner as a vaccine is available. And a new year signifies a new start.

And yet…

I’m not sure I’m ready for a new start. Yes, all this sitting around and going nowhere and seeing no one has made me stir crazy. Stir crazy, but also unmotivated. I miss my friends, but I don’t want to leave my house. I have plenty of time to work on home projects, but no desire to do them. I am bored and lonely, but feel anxiety about going out. It’s not even the virus anymore. It’s just me.

We spent Thanksgiving and Christmas at home alone. It was just the four of us. And as sad as we were to forgo our annual trip to see my family in Michigan, there was a simplicity and quiet without all the chaos and busyness of previous years.

Side note: For Thanksgiving dinner we used our Good China. For the very first time. After 23 years. It is called Palace and is made by Pickard in case you are interested. (You bet I still remember the name of it.) We paired it with our silver. (Romance of the Sea, by Wallace). Also never used. I literally had to unwrap it from the original plastic packaging. Both my kids said, “Where did we get this stuff?”

During break, the kids and I spent a lot of time together. We baked. We talked. We laughed. We made six different kinds of cookies and delivered them to friends. We made hot cocoa bombs. We played board games. We drove around and looked at Christmas lights. We opened gift after gift after gift. Yes, I overdid it. No, I don’t care. We watched lots of movies. And yep, we spent a lot of time on electronics.

Even though I look forward to when this pandemic is over, there is a part of me that has a vague anxiety about things getting back to normal. “Normal” being hanging out with friends and going out to eat and driving kids to soccer and guitar and baseball. “Normal” being in-person school and soccer tournaments and going on vacation. “Normal” being Greek Camp and sleepovers and swimming at the pool. In other words, “back to normal” means over-scheduled and overwhelmed and never home and everyone eating dinner at different times while looking at their phone. Remind me again why we are trying to get back to this?

Time slips away and I look at my 15-year-old and realize he’s shaving and driving and I only have two more years left with him until he is gone for good. My 12-year-old, who was in grade school a year ago, will be in high school in a year and a half. I just want to absorb every minute that I have with them.

Someday they will look back and tell their kids about the worst year of their life. Where they were cooped up inside and there was nothing to do and they couldn’t go to school and they couldn’t play sports and they didn’t travel and they were bored all winter. And someday I will tell those same kids about the time where I got to have my babies near me for a whole year and I didn’t have to share them with anyone. Where we played board games and did puzzles and watched movies and baked cookies and stayed home all the time.

And how it was a year I will savor forever. 

So make the best of this test 
And don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life
--Green Day

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