In a cruel twist of fate this year, “Spring Break” came and went without anyone really noticing.  What I have realized is that keeping track of the days while blogging is pointless as they seem to drag on like Groundhog Day.  Plus, maybe we are in the new normal and “quarantine blogging” isn’t novel anymore.  It just “blogging.”

The one good thing that has come out of this is my kids are playing together a lot and have not had one argument.  They have been doing puzzles, building with Lego, doing soccer skills, playing ping pong, air hockey, basketball, and baking cookies together. On week two they mastered the Rubik’s cube and this week are playing chess.  Yippee!    This makes it almost worth the five weeks together. Almost, but not quite.

Like many families, we have also been playing a lot of board games.  We have always been a board game playing family, ever since the Candyland days.  However, with sports practices almost every night, the past few years have been hit or miss.  It has been nice to get back to it.  Since the quarantine began, we have rotated through every board game we own, and we own A LOT of board games.

Side Note: We are also working on 1000-piece puzzles.  We have been finishing about one a week.  The first was popcorn, the second was candy, and shockingly, when we got to puzzle number three, a gorgeous view of the skyline of Santorini, our excitement fizzled out.  This one has been on our table for three weeks and I can’t help wondering if it’s because it’s not food-related.

Here’s the thing: Even though we play the same games over and over, each time we bring out the evening choice we have to re-explain the rules to Ted.  Now I’m not sure if this is just a ruse, but none of us can understand why someone who can quote the entire script of The Hunt for Red October cannot remember how to play Scrabble.

Exhibit A: Quirkle:  Simple game:  You have to match either the color or the shape.  Sometimes it gets tricky and you have to match BOTH.  It’s really just a matter of knowing your shapes and colors which is early level learning.  Maybe he is color blind?  Despite questionable wardrobe choices, no, he is not colorblind.  For example, an orange circle does not match with a purple X.  Or as we call this shape when we play, “Jumpy guy.”  (Yes, I did stop several games over the past few weeks to take pictures.  I explained that I was doing “research.”)

Clue:  This is a fun one.  Ted is usually the one who suggests this game although I don’t think he has ever won it.  Maybe he thinks because of his background and experience as an investigator he will be the first person in the history of Clue to be able to guess the killer on round three?  How can you possibly make an educated guess when you’ve only been in the bathroom, the kitchen, and the billiards room?  Maybe he is just done playing and wants to go upstairs and have time to himself. I don’t blame him.

Exhibit B: Saboteur: This is an amazing card game we love.  At the start of the game you get one of these two cards telling you whether or not you are the “Saboteur” for the game:

I can’t tell you how many times when we first played this game he would receive his card and ask “How do I know if I’m the Saboteur?”  To which we would all groan and collect the cards to reshuffle, saying to him, “If you have to ask, you are NOT the Saboteur!!” When he IS the Saboteur, we all know it because he starts accusing everyone else.  He has a terrible poker face.

Monopoly is boring and everyone knows that and maybe that is why Ted tries to trade property cards almost immediately after starting the game.  He will offer bad trades to everyone. “I’ll give you Baltic Avenue for Park Place.”  Umm, no.  “I’ll give you Indiana Ave even though you have no other red properties for Atlantic Ave which will complete my yellow monopoly.” It’s so incessant that eventually, we all turn against him and make a pact to not trade with him for the rest of the game.

Pente and Otrio are both games that require some teamwork.  You need to work defense and offense and sometimes TWO players have to work together to block one player.  Not with Ted.  He is strictly offense.  This means the two people who go AFTER him end up being all-time defense and the third person wins. These two games usually turn into chaos with everyone shouting at him “Block her! Block him!”  Because of the rule of clockwise play, I have learned that sitting to the right of Ted is the money spot for Pente and Otrio.

Exhibit C: Ticket to Ride: This particular recent game of Ticket to Ride might have been the impetus for this blog. It’s not a hard game to play and we play it all the time.  In order to lay down track, you need a set of matching colored cards.  Below you will see Ted’s first play. He was a good sport for letting me stop the game to take a picture.  I don’t know.  Maybe he IS colorblind.

Exhibit D: Scrabble: Scrabble is the best game for pure entertainment.  There are always words people try to slip in as legitimate every now and again.  Whether it is slang or a proper noun, once in a while you might get challenged.   Today, I will only focus on my two favorite stories.  The first was when he insisted that “Tronch” was a word and was so invested he accepted a challenge and (not surprisingly) lost.  Even spellcheck has been reminding me that it isn’t a word while I have been writing this post.***Ted’s amendment after reading this blog: Tranche IS a word meaning “portion,” most recently used in 2018 during the Greek bailout where Greece received a “tranche” of a loan from the European Union.”***

But the best Scrabble mishap has to be shown below, where to our utter astonishment, Ted laid down these tiles. His explanation?  Faux.  Not only is it spelled wrong, but it’s placed going upwards.  I really don’t know what else to say.

In all honesty, playing games with the family has always been a fun bonding experience for us.  And as much as I make fun of Ted, we do need one person in this family who isn’t so serious about winning.  He (and Franny, quite honestly) have provided a nice balance and some levity to my Teddy’s competitive streak.  In fact, many years ago, when Teddy was in preschool, we had to start a routine whenever we ended a game.  The loser was required to say, “Congratulations on being a good winner.” And the winner had to say, “Congratulations on being a good sport.” All while shaking hands. It was the only way to keep Teddy from throwing an absolute temper tantrum when he lost.

And for those of you thinking, “Why wouldn’t she just let a three-year-old win the game?” Ummm, have we met?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can someone please tell me why this weekend is so long? The girl and boy come home from school and never go back again. And then my dad come home from work and he stay too.  At first, it was fun but now I tired of all these hoomans in mine and mama’s house. Usually, me and mama go for rides every day but now the boy is driving and he drive scary. We go on swervy rides and lots of times we stop HARD and I fly from seat to seat.  Also, when he drives dad yells A LOT so I try not to go in the car with him but sometimes it’s hard to decide because also I want to be with mama all the time.

Now when we leave the house we only go to three places.  First is the big building with all the food inside.  I’ve never been in but I can smell it.  It smells super good so I don’t understand why all the hoomans are covering their mouths and noses up and only showing their eyes.  Maybe they don’t like good smells?  The second place they go to is the red ball store with the bullseye and the dog.  Mama likes this place A LOT.  But the best drive is the one where I get to say hi to all the hoomans in the window.  I think this is where her hooman friends live because they all say hi and know her name and then they hand her the pink drink.  I’m a little worried though because I think Mama forgot how to get to the dog park.    

Speaking of friends I can’t sniff my friends so much anymore when I go on walks.  Even though we go on SO MANY walks and there are SO MANY hoomans I want to say hi to and smell and jump on.  But mama says NO! and pulls on her chain.  She always connects herself to me with that chain when we walk so she does not get lost.  Good thing for her I have a strong hold on her and show her where to go.  

Every day we go on super long walks and one day water came crashing from the sky and mama still wanted to walk!  And used to be my private time with mama but now ALL the hoomans go on the walks.  Once mama tried to make the boy and girl take me and I say NO and just sit down HARD on the ground and stretch hard toward mama until they give up.  I’m the boss of them that’s for sure. 

Also I worried a bit about my hoomans because they are all getting bigger I think.  All day hoomans go to the big silver box and open it and close it and pull out good things and I wait at their feet and give them cutest look I have but I don’t get anything.  So many good smells at my house but always the same hard balls in my bowl.  While the hoomans are getting bigger I am shrinking because of all the walks. 

The worst part about all of this is that Mama is making everyone do jobs all day.  EVEN ME!!!  Mama decided she wants to teach me to talk.  I don’t need to talk she already understands everything I say.   When I scratch on door it means, “Go outside.” When I jump on her over and over it means, “Pet me.” When I see her chain I bark loud and hard and it means “I want to go on a walk.”  When I run to the back door it means, “I want to go in the car with you.”  How many other things do I need to tell her?

I guess mama does not agree because the other day she put a round ball on the floor by my treat cupboard.  But the ball doesn’t roll it just sits there.  Then mama steps on it and it says TREAT and sound just like mama!!  Mama steps on that ball all the time when she gives me a treat.  I don’t know why she does that.  Once I sniffed the ball too close and my nose touched it and I heard TREAT and all the hoomans got very excited and yelling and I guess I did something good because I got a treat!  I think they want me to step on this button all the time when I want treats but why?  Why would I do that when I have been getting treats the easy way all this time?

I hope this weekend over soon.  I miss my friends and quiet time and naps and dog park and nice car rides.  I hear the hoomans say it’s only been one month.  I think they forget that’s like seven months for me.

 

The ball toy mama make me push for treats.

 

If this is the time we should be taking care to be the cleanest we can be…why is everything going downhill so quickly?

Day Eleven (Tuesday, March 24th)

I will admit that we have cleaning ladies who come every two weeks.  Of course, they have not come since the quarantine and this shows when you walk into my house.  Last week, we all chipped in and it went great.  No one complained and our house looked surprisingly clean.  It was so painless, in fact, that at the time I actually considered permanently canceling them.  “Hey, this is awesome,” I thought, “I can save myself some cash and it really isn’t that bad when everyone does their part.”

This week that theory has been greatly tested.  The dirt on the floor and scum in the bathtub is building up.  Which is I guess what happens when four people and a dog rarely leave the house.  In a weak moment, I consider asking the ladies to come over.  I think about how we could all (dog included) just sit in the driveway for two hours and wait for them to be done.  I mean, they are coming with BLEACH and SANITIZER!  What could be safer??  I am helping a small business thrive and our house gets clean!  Win-Win!  It seems rational at the time.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  I decide against it when I realize how bored I will be sitting on the driveway for so long.

Day Twelve (Wednesday, March 25th)

 

Today marks the day I ask myself, “Is it really necessary to shower?”

Day Thirteen (Thursday, March 26th)

Today is the day I stop wearing jeans and move over to yoga pants.  I can’t believe I held out for so long.

Day Fourteen (Friday, March 27th)

At this point, I am eating just to survive.  Nothing is really enjoyable and no matter how many times I walk to the pantry or open the fridge, the same food stares back at me. Not having the opportunity to go out to eat wears hard on our spirits and its amazing that we depend so much on dining out for our happiness. On the other hand, our newfound love for baking has increased, along with my girth.  Also, it is crazy to me that I spent over $300 on groceries last week and our fridge is empty.  Just how much are we eating??

Day Fifteen (Saturday, March 28th)

Although my kids have been awesome considering our situation, they still aren’t putting their dirty dishes in the dishwasher even though we have been working on this for 11 days (and 11 years.)  Today I discover there are four stages of loading the dishwasher.

Stage one: Bring your dishes to the kitchen.  My kids are really good about this and have been at this stage for years.

Stage two: Put the dishes in the sink, not just next to it.  This is the stage we are working on.  I have told them numerous times not to stack the dishes on the small counter space next to the sink but they do it anyway.  We have had tutorials on how to load the dishwasher. Nope.  Still next to the sink.

Stage three/four: Rinse off the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.  These two stages should always go together.  You should not have one without the other.  (Hence, stage three/four.) But this is not always the case.  This, by the way, is Ted’s favorite stage.  In fact, he rinses and cleans dishes off SO well that 75% of the time I cannot distinguish between clean and dirty dishes.  More than once I have emptied half of the load to suddenly notice something greasy and discover it was actually dirty.  Now if I’m not sure I resort to the “Athena test,” which is calling the dog in and seeing if she sniffs and walks away or starts licking everything (also known in our house as the “pre-wash.”)

Side Note:   I actually had to call Teddy back into the kitchen THREE TIMES today to get him to put his dish in the dishwasher. The first time he only put his dish in the sink.  The second time he rinsed it off and placed in back in the sink.  The third time he actually put in in the dishwasher.  Victory is mine!

Day Sixteen (Sunday, March 29th)

Today I receive the not unexpected news that my hair appointment has been canceled.   As mentioned earlier, I have already switched out of constricting pants. I haven’t had my nails done in weeks.  Never mind the fact that by the time this quarantine is over I am going to have a full-on mustache and unibrow. Honestly, its the first time relatives are going to tell me I look more like my dad than my mom. Vanity is out the window.

Warning: If you hear about any Groucho Marx sightings on Next-Door, don’t worry.  It’s just me.

 

 

You may have noticed I adjusted the title a bit.  I think we can all agree that at this point, using the word “vacation” is an insult to the travel industry.  Therefore, let’s go with “lockdown.” We can reassess on Friday.

It’s the weekend!!  Days Seven through Nine (March 20th, 21st, 22nd)

Honestly, does it even matter that it’s the weekend?  The only difference is that Ted seems to be paying a little bit more attention to us.  We end up watching church services online and both kids have Sunday school lessons.  The highlight of the quarantine so far is on Sunday when we make a last-minute decision to surprise one of Franny’s besties with a birthday car-parade past her house. It is dark and snowy (yes, it snowed here, bonus!) and we hop in the car at 6pm with a big sign saying “Happy birthday!”  We shoot a last-minute text to a group of her friends and five minutes later six cars drive by, girls hanging out windows and sunroofs yelling “happy birthday,” holding up signs, honking horns incessantly, until she comes to the door. It truly was the high point of this quarantine and I had tears in my eyes seeing the love and friendship these girls have for each other.

Day Ten (Monday, March 23rd)

Back to reality.  It comes as no surprise that the things that are normally pet peeves of mine have been heightened in our secluded world.  Each person (and animal) in the family is grating on my last nerve.  First, believe it or not, is Franny.  She and I are very close, and she is generally easy-going, kind and helpful.  And even when she loses it, it’s usually because she is tired or hungry.  But, boy can that girl talk.  A lot.  I mean A LOT.  I mean, ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME.

Things she talks about: What she is doing, what she is thinking, what she saw on TV, what she saw on YouTube, what happened yesterday and lest we forgot, what happened a few minutes ago (which by the way, I actually WITNESSED HAPPEN a few minutes ago!)  She starts talking as soon as she wakes up and doesn’t stop.  I recently learned she even talks IN HER SLEEP.  And yes, the irony is not lost on me. There might be a certain blogger who also likes to talk.

Teddy, on the other hand, who is often moody and solitary, has become more open and even-keeled.  Unfortunately, his habit of asking what we are having for dinner has become more irritating than ever because of our close quarters.  Before the quarantine, it was the first thing he would ask when he would get home from school. Now, he asks it at around noon.  Since we are surviving on a diet of all of his favorite foods I don’t understand the problem. When is dinner?  What’s for dinner?  Can we have dinner?  It’s a depressing reminder that I will be making dinner for the rest of my life.  In fact, I once figured out that if I live till I’m 70, even if we eat out twice a week, I will still have to think of 5742 dinners before I die.

The dog, who is my best friend, (wait, let me amend that, I am HER best friend), has been acting wonky.  She is following me around even more than usual and can’t seem to figure out why I am sharing my love with others.  Social distancing is not in her lexicon.

Shockingly, the person who is bugging me the least is Ted. Generally, when he is home he likes to follow me around.  Thankfully that hasn’t been happening too much.  In fact, the only annoying thing so far has also been amusing: Watching him try and adapt to a standard stay-at-home lunch.  Even before the quarantine, Ted struggled with eating lunch at home.  For many years he would seem confused about why we weren’t having a full meal at lunchtime.  Where is the three-course meal of soup and salad and a hot sandwich?  Where is the appetizer?  (He mentioned to me that when he was little his mom would make burgers in the morning for him to take to school.  Ummm, that ain’t happening here, mister.  Eat your peanut butter sandwich like everyone else).  So this being the first time he has been home during the day for a significant amount of time, he is bewildered.  The other day, his attempt at a “sandwich” was three slices of American cheese on a hamburger bun.  I noticed later he had added chips and salsa to the INSIDE of the sandwich.  Help me.

One week down.  Two to go?