What’s the plus about not being on the beach this week? Those of us up here in the cold don’t have to think about shaving our legs for at least another two months. However, that doesn’t mean we can neglect all personal grooming, especially us Greek girls.  And what better time to do that than on my week off?  Here I am getting my eyebrows threaded at the local beauty salon.  Regular readers of my blog wait all year for this post. 😆

Here at home the fun never stops and today I got a little out of my comfort zone and fit in TWO activities!  The weather was clear and sunny and in the high 50’s so I took my dog for a walk.  You can’t do that in Europe….not with all those stray dogs and cats running around!

SIDE NOTE:

Helpful hint for those of you who like to multi-task: If in fact you walk your dog and use your phone at the same time, you probably are used to the frequent pauses as your pet stops to relieve herself or sniff at an interesting spot on the grass.  Be sure to look up every once in a while as you may just assume she is investigating a scent when in fact she is investigating THIS:

Here she is a few minutes later after she threw up.  You can tell from her smile SHE loves Spring Break at home too!!!

You want to know another benefit of staying home?  Visiting your local Target for your weekly essentials!!  Sorry people in the Caribbean..looks like you will be missing out on this week’s Cartwheel deals!!   Do you think you are going to be able to find a Target on the open seas or in exotic ports?  They might have a lot of restaurants in an all-inclusive but they don’t have Tar-jay!! I mean, what are you going to do if you have a toiletry emergency?  Call ROOM SERVICE?? I highly doubt they stock luxury brands like Jergens and up & up at the front desk!

Did I mention it was senior citizen/walker day at Target? Yep. I feel great knowing that the only people still in town with me are the non-ambulatory.

This lady below, who is my personal hero, grabbed a huge bottle of white wine and proceeded to stuff it into her small bag.  Which leads me to believe that the women at the retirement home are having a better Spring Break than me.

Well that’s it folks.  It was a full day.  I finished the evening by watching The Crown while eating my Archer Farms trail mix. Bet you can’t get THAT in Cancun.

It’s only day two, but spring break can be tiring so I definitely want to pace myself. I scheduled myself a day of ease today and decided to just stay home and do some baking.

I mean, it had nothing to do with the fact that I could not get out of my driveway.

Yep, that’s the view of my street from my garage. There is a giant truck blocking me from getting out.  I’m sure the county felt spring break was the perfect time to barricade people in their houses, because what fools would stay in Chicago this time of year?

I mean, why would I want to take advantage of NO PLANS on spring break by sleeping in? Sleep is overrated anyway.  Wouldn’t YOU just get up when you hear construction workers outside your house pounding and scraping and drilling at 6am?

Here is the view from the street:

Can you see my house?  You can’t?

I CANT EITHER.

So….what better to do with all my free time at home than bake? But not just any baking. LENTEN baking. Because when you’re Greek Orthodox you really shouldn’t be eating meat, fish, dairy or eggs for 40 days.  But actually it’s 49.  Nope. It isn’t 49 either.  It’s 55.  You think it’s 40 days your whole life until you become an adult and you really count it out and see that your mom and dad tricked you your whole life. But that’s a different blog. Anyway, THANK GOODNESS I am not in some tropical location with fresh fish and sprawling buffets during Lent!!  Who wants that?? I will stick with my pasta and salad with vinegar thank you very much.

Anyway, today I decided to bake a cake without eggs or dairy products.  Omitting what seems like essential items makes baking a cake challenging FUN!  First, google “vegan desserts” and then go directly to the grocery store because I guarantee you won’t have most of the ingredients in your cupboard.  Pick up your tahini, sunflower butter, and coconut oil and run home and start baking!!

The result was a spice cake that was a bit heavy on the clove flavor, weighed around 13 pounds, and had a bit of an after-taste.  But hey, if you gave up sweets for Lent and don’t want to feel guilty about enjoying yourself then this is the dessert for you!

What an amazing day.  I mean, can you bake at some lame resort in HAWAII?  I DON’T THINK SO!! They probably don’t even let you near their kitchen.  That would suck.  I mean, how are you going to get your soy milk and flax-seed??

Back by popular demand…SPRING BREAK…3rd EDITION!!

Every year since I first did this (2014), I have had people ask me if I am going to chronicle my Spring Break escapades again. Well, the moment you’ve been waiting for is here.

In honor of all of us who DID NOT GO ANYWHERE, each day of Spring Break I will be posting a picture of myself doing super awesome random things around the great city of Downers Grove.

As you scroll through Instagram and Facebook, please enjoy my pictures and anecdotes nestled in between the photos of your friends in warm and exotic locations.

Day One: Yesterday I went with my friend Kristina to pick up some magazines for her flight to Mexico and subsequent week on the beach.  Did we go to CVS? NO! Kristina doesn’t roll that way. We went to Barnes and Noble for the fancy stuff.  However, it ended up being a good call because I was able to get some light reading of my own to occupy all my free time this week.

And do you want to know what the greatest part is? I have all the time in the world to get through these books. No getting up to reapply sunscreen. No fighting with somebody over a beach chair. And best of all, no sand in my books! Fasten your seatbelts people. It’s going to be a crazy ride.

Above: Just a few of my favorite pick-me-up reads! !

Top Pic: Kristina taking a break from packing

I am hot.  All the time.

When I sing along to the songs on the radio (loudly and with glee I might add), my kids don’t hesitate to tell me I am getting most of the words wrong.

Wearing readers has become a full-time necessity.

I have no problem drilling Teddy and his friends with embarrassing questions about girls.

I have a days of the week pill-box.

All of these things can only mean one thing:

I have officially become my mother.

Several years ago when my sister turned 50 we had a girl’s weekend here in Chicago.  We presented her with all the usual gag gifts that come with turning older, including a pin that said “50” and would light up when you pushed a button on the front.  We made her wear it when we went shopping and vowed to push it whenever she did something “old-lady-ish.”   So there we were, walking around Oakbrook Mall….

Past Hollister with the heavy scent of young men’s cologne wafting out of the doors….”Ugh, it stinks in there!”  PUSH

Browsing the racks of Macy’s….”It’s SO HOT in here!” PUSH

Looking around Abercrombie….”This music is so LOUD!!”  PUSH

Outside of Lord & Taylor…”I need to stop and go to the bathroom again.” PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!

And each and every time we laughed harder at her complaining and impatience with the world.

Well, as Gomer Pyle says, “surprise surprise surprise.” Here I am.  (And if you didn’t think I was old before there’s a reference for you.)

And just like 40, it all seemed to happen overnight.

When I turned 40 I remember everything hitting me at once. It was like Mother Nature said “Why have these things come gradually? Let’s just give you all your issues at once to get them over with.”  Fifty seems to want to continue her cruel trick.

Readers of my blog know that I have terrible eyesight.  For almost 40 years I could not see anything far away.  Suddenly I can’t see anything close up anymore either. My prescription is literally going in reverse.  You would think I would achieve a perfect balance and finally see 20/20.  Nope. I simply can’t see near OR far now. Hello, bifocals.

Here’s another one for you: Eyebrows. I have always had thick eyebrows. Once I got them under control I actually liked them. I don’t have to color them in or change the shape too much. Just some clean up every few weeks. Welp, no more. Once 50 was in sight I suddenly inherited my dads “tricky” eyebrows as we used to call them. Full and bushy with individual long wiry hairs with a mind of their own, trying to dislodge themselves from the pack.

At a recent dance I chaperoned for my 8th grader I found myself judging the outfits of the 13-year-old girls.  “Who is that?  That one’s wearing way too much makeup.  Don’t like that dress at all.  Oh she’s cute, I wonder if she knows Teddy.”

I am less and less patient with my kids and their stories. “And then we were playing football and I fell and….”  Yeah yeah yeah you told me this already.  Go watch YouTube.

It took 10 minutes trying to find the value of my house online until I realized I was on Reddit not Redfin.

It’s taking everything in my power not to tell my nephew to cut his hair.

I find myself criticizing Ariana Grande because of her high voice and whiny vocal runs. Usually I do this out loud in the car while her music is playing on the radio. Just enough so that none of the passengers can enjoy listening to her songs.   It’s like 1980 all over again with my mom and Madonna.

I asked my friend if her son and a girl he liked were an “item” yet. The minute it came out of my mouth I heard it. Oh Lord I am an old lady. Who says “item” anymore? Next thing you know I will ask if they are “necking.”

Also, I think I’m getting shorter.  For real.

It’s not the end of the world.  I mean,  I don’t look like the crypt-keeper.  It’s just, no one is going to mistake that I’m in my 30’s anymore.  In fact, now I’m going to be excited about people thinking I’m in my 40’s. Read that again.  I WILL NOW BE EXCITED ABOUT PEOPLE THINKING I’M IN MY 40’S!!

The good news is I’m not yet reading through the obituaries. I haven’t been spotted inside a Chico’s.  I don’t have season tickets to Ravinia.  In fact, now that I think about it, I’m still acting like I’m 43 at most.  Now excuse me while I go take a nap.

Above: For those who don’t understand the reference: She’s Sally O’Malley and she’s proud to say she’s 50 years old. She’s not one of those gals who’s afraid to tell her real age, and she likes to KICK, STRETCH, and KICK!  She’s FIFTY!!!