aging, fashion, humor, Taylor Swift, Uncategorized

The Eras Tour (Samantha’s Version)

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you are aware of the phenomenon that is the Taylor Swift Eras Tour. I was lucky enough to be able to attend her concert with my niece Natalie when the show came to Chicago.

First came the outfit planning. I can honestly say that I spent more time trying to figure out what I was going to wear to this concert than I did to my nephew’s wedding, which was occurring the following weekend. For that one person out there who isn’t aware, there was a whole thing about which Era/Album you were going to represent via your outfit. This concert was not just a concert, it was a collective event for Swifties.

I made the mistake of telling a young teacher at work that I was unprepared and stressed and might just have to channel the Evermore Era and wear a flannel shirt. Not as cool or sexy as the black biker shorts and bralette she was going to be wearing from the Reputation Era, but at least I would be comfortable. When she responded “That’s OK, that’s what my mom is wearing,” I realized I had reached an ultimate low. I mean, I know I am a mom, and I know I am old enough to be HER mom, but I still didn’t want to be reminded that I was going to be DRESSING like a mom.

Add that to the fact that this was early June and I get sweaty just by telling an exciting story, I decided to forgo the flannel shirt and wear pink and represent the Lover Era. 

Natalie came into town the night before and we set to work on our friendship bracelets. Apparently, there is a line in one of Taylor’s songs about friendship bracelets. Not a whole song, or a song title, or an album title, just ONE LINE about making friendship bracelets, and the next thing you know we’re all furiously pulling out our bead-making kits from the 6th grade. I mean, Nena had some great lines in her songs, but you didn’t see me showing up to her concert in 1983 with 99 red balloons did you? 

As soon as we arrived at Soldier Field Natalie insisted on getting in a line longer than Peter Pan’s Flight at Disney World so we could get “merch.” (this is what you call over-priced t-shirts, posters, tote bags, etc.) You can get the same stuff online but it is not the same as the experience of waiting in a long line with others who have the same obsession as you. One hour later when we were three spots closer, they closed down the booth because they had run out of all the merch. One thousand disappointed females in sequins and cowboy boots and fedoras (I did not see ANY flannel shirts) dispersed to their seats. 

As we wandered through the stadium looking for our seats, every once in a while a concert-goer walked up to Natalie and asked her to trade bracelets. This was the part of the night I had been waiting for. The trading had begun! What style bracelet would I get? Which one of my own was I willing to part with? I waited eagerly for the tweens and teens to ask me to trade.

Reader, it is a mystery why no one wanted to trade with a sweaty mom wearing heart-shaped glasses and a sparkle headband. Needless to say, I went home with the same bracelets I arrived with. 

Finally, the moment arrived. Taylor appeared and the concert began. Almost immediately, she started singing her hit song, “Cruel Summer.” I was happily singing my heart out with thousands of teenage girls and their moms, when suddenly Natalie started screaming “THE FIRST BRIDGE! THE FIRST BRIDGE!” When I tell you I was confused, I mean that I was confused. But I didn’t have time to ask her because suddenly the part I had been practicing for weeks was upon us. I quickly FaceTimed Franny so she could witness me nailing the line. 

“He looks up grinning like the Devil,” the entire crowd screamed, except for me who was screeching out the wrong words two beats behind everyone else, all while FaceTiming Franny and looking around Soldier Field for that damn bridge.

(And if you’re wondering, yes, I did learn later that the part of the song I had been trying to learn is called (surprise!) a “bridge.” Taylor is known for her bridges and this was the first one she sang at her show. Hence: THE FIRST BRIDGE! I mean, it all makes sense now.)

Side Note: Natalie of course nailed it. This is because Natalie knows every word to every song. And I don’t mean this as in “Natalie knows all the words” in a casual way. I mean this as in a very literal “I seriously think that she might know the entire catalog of Taylor Swift songs and that with her kind of photographic memory maybe I should take her to Vegas.”

As the concert progressed I realized there were many songs where special chants, claps and dances were added that everyone in the audience seemed to collectively know but me and probably some other middle-aged moms who are not on TikTok. But I was still trying to figure out the actual lyrics, never mind made up ones that the secret Swiftie society created. I imagine this would never happen in the 80’s before social media (except for maybe during Billy Idol’s Mony Mony where added phrases created much excitement to high school dances).

Finally, we got to the surprise songs. Taylor introduced the acoustic guitar song by telling the crowd, “This one is pretty new.” In fact, it had been released 9 days earlier. She played about three chords of it and Natalie began to literally shriek, “IT HITS DIFFERENT!!” And by shrieking, I mean imagine it is 1964 and the Beatles have just arrived. (For those of you reading who don’t know who the Beatles are, think One Direction). Why I was surprised Natalie was able to identify a song just released the previous week after only three notes, I don’t know. In a shocking turn of events, she also knew all the words. 

After three hours of music, dancing, and singing, the concert ended. Whether you like Taylor Swift or not, no one can deny she puts on a heck of a show. It was phenomenal.

***Stay tuned for parts two and three of my Taylor Swift blog trilogy: One: I attend the Taylor Swift movie by arriving 3 1/2 hours early and end up initiating hesitant movie theater-goers to get on their feet and dance. Two: I spend $20 (again) to watch the movie on TV while wearing my Taylor Swift 1989 cardigan sweater. That hasn’t occurred yet, but knowing me, something will happen to write about.***

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Uncategorized

Running with Jesus

***This is an old Facebook post that came up in my memories that I thought was too funny not to share here. Some of you may remember it. ***

My stream of consciousness as I’m running this evening: 

Wow, I’m at a pretty good pace today! I can tell because I’m hot and sweaty and tired and on song number four of my playlis—–whaa???—-Is that a BIBLE on the sidewalk? (Still running) Crap. It is. Ugh. (Passing the bible) Now I gotta go back. I gotta.  I have no choice. (Turning around going back.) Hmmm. It’s kind of right in front of this house. I wonder if the owners are inside? If I knock on the door will they think I’m a Bible salesman or a Jehovah’s Witness? This feels weird. Just put it in a safe corner here on the grass and come back and get it after my run. Oh man, there’s a name engraved on it. There’s pressed flowers inside. It’s important to someone. No, I  can’t do that. I’ll for sure get hit by a car on my way home if I do that. (Picking up the 10 lb hardcover four-versions-in-one bible). Ok. I’ll just keep running. I only have about five minutes left, I can do this. It’s a Bible for goodness’ sake it should make my load “lighter” ha ha. Stop it. You should not make jokes about the Bible. Nope doesn’t feel any lighter.  I wonder if all these drivers are wondering “Hey, who’s the crazy lady running with the Bible? Why doesn’t she just listen to the audio version?” This is getting pretty heavy. Think I will just walk the rest of the way home.   

If anyone knows Teresa Dotson, please let her know I have her bible.

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aging, humor

A Massage a Day Keeps Relaxation Away

Various high-end products used during my massage. Not pictured: Unlabeled bottle of oil.

A while ago a couple of friends and I decided to get massages. We were treating a friend who needed a little pampering and thought a massage and dinner would do the trick.

“Don’t be scared by the outside, as it is in a strip mall that doesn’t have much,” said my friend who made the appointments for us.

What she should have said was “Don’t be scared by the outside as it is in an ABANDONED strip mall.” Or maybe even ‘If you choose to look at the website, don’t be scared by the cover image of two sexy lady massagers massaging one smiling man.”

We walk in and are met by a woman inside who quickly asks us to pay upfront and also include the tip. I push down the thought that this particular establishment must have experienced a lot of clients “Massage and Ditch out the Back Door” to make it a rule to pay first.

As she leads us toward the massage rooms, which are basically right off the entrance, she ushers both of my friends into the same room. It is all I can do to not burst out laughing as I would have paid double to hear about how their “couples” massage went, but they quickly clarify that they will be needing separate rooms. Thankfully I am led into a room by myself and asked to undress and lie down with the towel over me.

Now, if you ever have had a massage, it is your choice how many underthings you leave on. I prefer to leave on my underwear but take off my bra. I don’t care if someone is touching my bare back and I prefer not to have someone working around my bra straps and getting them all greased up with massage oil.

At this point I would like to ask my children (and quite frankly any of their friends who might be following me) to STOP READING NOW. I do not need them to have any of the following images of me in their mind at all, ever, at any time in their lives.

The massage starts out like any other massage. She works on my back for a long time. It is fine, typical, not much news here. Except here’s the thing: I am an over-thinker. Like, give me an hour in a quiet room and I’m going to start thinking about all the things I need to get done for the day. It’s not really an anxious train of thought, more like a “working massage,” if you will. It’s just who I am. It’s unfortunate. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the massages, I just often feel that I am still tensed up as I am trying hard to relax. My mind starts to wander…

I wonder who is playing this massage flute music? Do flutists get commissioned specifically for massage soundtracks? “Okay, Hans, this next piece is for the massage parlor on 14th Street, just make it soothing and generic, but it has to be about 50 minutes long.” If I Shazamed this song would it come up with something like “Flute and Harp Massage Remix/Mashup”?

Back to the massage. As she finishes my upper back area she pulls the towel down a bit. And down a bit more, and more, taking my undies along with it, until I realize I needn’t have contemplated whether or not to leave them on as they are basically as low as they can go.
“Okay?” She asks.

“Uh-huh,” I lie.

Now if you think at this point I am relaxed, think again. Instead, I am now worried about numerous things I won’t go into. After what seems like an eternity, the masseuse finishes my back and starts working on my legs. Phew, I think, the uncomfortable part is over.

Nope. Think again. Think again.

She moves the towel to the side, basically giving me a homemade thong, and goes to work. Now, maybe this does not come as a surprise to some of you, but for someone who generally goes to get massages NOT IN STRIP MALLS from establishments NOT NAMED JUST ONE LETTER, I was a bit surprised. Also, when someone is working in this area and you are tense, I don’t need to tell you what part of your body clenches up.

Finally, she finishes my backside and leans down and says something. Unfortunately, with my head far down in the oval opening and towels around my face, I can’t really hear her, but it does not sound like “roll over.” She says it again.

I lift my head to hear better and the circular cut-out face paper towel comes with it.

I catch a few words…”Hot…towel…clean”

I am now looking at her with a paper ring framing my face, stuck to me with sweat or condensation or who knows what. (I wish I had a picture of myself looking up at her. Don’t think I wasn’t tempted to grab my phone and take a pic of myself, as by now I was mentally writing this blog and trying hard not to forget every funny thing that had happened).

“Okay,” I say.

She comes back in with of course a HOT TOWEL to CLEAN my back. She rubs my back hard as if I were getting a Turkish massage, and ends with a strange karate chop on my back and tells me to flip over.

I mentally prepare for what to say if she decides to pull the towel down to my waist again and leave me topless on the table. I quickly make a list of phrases in my head like “No, thank you,” “No please” and “NO TOUCH” among other things. I prepare to wrestle the towel with her if I have to.

Thankfully, she leaves the towel on me and begins with my arms and shoulders, kneading and rubbing for a short while until she finishes with a flourish by grabbing my fingers in a weird enlaced “Titanic in the backseat of the car” clasping kind of way. She then takes my wrist and shakes my whole arm hard, wiggling it like I have no bones. I worry she will break all my arm bones and I will be the first person who needs a cast after a massage.

On to my legs. Dear Lord, when will this be over. Let’s just say I was really hoping when I shaved my legs that morning I did a thorough job. Her finale is to move my legs into a frog-like position while massaging them as I panic and pray there are no hidden cameras in the room. She tries to do the same floppy wiggle with my legs, but as they are considerably heavier, it just ends up that she picks my leg up by the ankle and drops it with a loud THUD back to the table. She gives my legs a karate chop, which I now assume is the universal massage sign for “all done.”

I assume incorrectly. Still to come is a head massage. I agree to this, but then panic as she pours a bunch of oil into her hands. We are supposed to go out to dinner after this. I don’t need a hair full of oil.

“No oil,” I say.

When I decided to leave out verbs as I spoke, I have no idea. It’s like I’m Kevin from The Office. (Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick)? She either ignores me or doesn’t care, as she proceeds to rub my head. She focuses hard on my angry 11s over and over which I suppose is a lot cheaper than Botox but makes me feel bad about myself, as if she was trying her darndest to rub out those pesky wrinkles that simply won’t go away. It suddenly dawns on me all of the places she has touched with her bare hands before ending with my face.

Finally, it is over. She leaves the room, taking the unlabeled bottle of oil she has been using with her. All I can think is….

I can’t wait to get home so I can relax.

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adolescence, college, Family, Motherhood

The Hardest Goodbye

For a year I have been counting down the days until my oldest goes to college. And not in the way you might think. This is the last summer we have before he turns 18. The last Christmas we will have while he is still living at home. The last family vacation while he is mine. I try to joke about it, “This is the last Friday in a July that you’ll be living under my roof before you graduate!”

But I’m only half joking. I am not ready for this stage of his life to be over. And what I really mean by that is that I am not ready for this stage of MY life to be over.

He is my firstborn. I have spent more time with this human than probably any other person on Earth. He is my heart and soul and life and happiness and anxiety and worry and pride and annoyance and frustration and everything in between. And his leaving is not just a rite of passage for him, but for me as well.

To all the young moms out there: Remember when you cried on your child’s first day of kindergarten? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

I wonder, were my parents this emotional when I left for school? I have no memories of them even dropping me off, although I’m sure they did. I have ZERO memories of my mom crying or even visiting me at school. I am quite sure she drove home and didn’t think twice about whether or not I was scared or sad or going to make friends or be lonely. I know FOR SURE she did not add Life 360 to her phone or order the blue bags from IKEA or get overwhelmed and panicked from following multiple parent groups on Facebook. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only time she called to check in on me freshman year was to ask me why I got a D in Statistics.

I’m not just saying goodbye to him. I’m saying goodbye to a season of my life I won’t ever get to experience again. And I have tried to savor all the days lately, even the bad ones, because at least he was still MINE. But still, this day came faster than I wanted it to.

And right now, I can barely breathe.

Raising my kids has been a joy. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it can be unrewarding and thankless at times. But spending time with them has been an 18-year journey (so far) that has fulfilled me in ways that I didn’t know existed before I had kids. It took many years to mentally adjust to being a “stay-at-home” mom. Accepting parenting as my job, and not being embarrassed or resentful or feeling like I wasn’t using my degree was difficult. But now that I am nearing the end of this stage, I can’t believe how I am going to miss it. My house has been full of fun and noise and laughter and teenagers, along with dirty dishes and stinky soccer cleats and backpacks on the floor that for some reason just can’t make it the extra four inches into their cubbies.

I am going to miss having a house full of high school boys making noise in my basement. I am going to miss the shouting coming from his bedroom while he’s playing video games. I am going to miss someone as competitive as I am when we play board games during dinner. I am even going to miss charges showing up on my Target app and Starbucks app for Doritos and Iced Mochas. And just who is going to be there to explain to me what’s happening in all the Marvel movies when we go to the theater?

I barely remember the hard days. I mean, there are STILL hard days, but I’m sure someday I will forget these too. I just know that lately, I have ached for a do-over. Not to change anything, although I’m sure I would if given a chance. (Don’t get mad so quickly, don’t argue with them all the time, let things go more often). But I want a do-over just so I can experience it again. I want to relive the days when we would go to the library and the toy store and end our day getting ice cream. I want to go back to the days when he was attached to me and wanted to play trains all day. I want more zoo visits and mom-and-tot classes at the park district. The days when my whole life was him and his whole life was me. Why does it feel like I wasn’t paying enough attention all those years?

Today my firstborn goes to college. And he is ready in every way.

I’m just not sure I am.

First day of Kindergarten and first day of Senior year
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aging, Being greek, death, Family, grief

The Tapestry of her Life

When I think of her I think of teacups and cats.

And Boston. And England. And dainty little fingers. And coral lipstick.

She is my only female cousin on my mom’s side and she is 12 years older than me. Which makes her 65.

And about a month ago she asked me to write a tribute to her for her memorial service. Actually, what she really said was “I’m working on my memorial service (what, you think I wouldn’t try to control that?) and I’d like you to do one of your funny/spot on tributes and read it.”

So here we are.

Truthfully, I had already started writing it.

Two years ago she was diagnosed with ALS. And like the disease itself, her timeline is unpredictable. She is declining. I’m going to see her in a few weeks knowing this is probably the last time I will see her. And it’s another important person I am losing. Along with my mother, her mother, my sister, my father, and now her, my surrogate sister. And at this point, it’s beginning to feel as though while the branches of my tree of life might be growing, the roots are being yanked out of the ground one by one. With nothing to hold it stable, won’t the tree eventually just fall over?

If you know her well, you know she has had more tragedy and life shake-ups than most people. If you don’t know her, well, those stories are hers to tell, but to say she has moved through them and come to a place of grace and gratefulness is an understatement.

The truth is, I used to be scared of her. Let’s just say in her early years I don’t think you would have described her as easy going. She had a bit of an edge. Besides, twelve years is a wide age gap when you are growing up. By the time I was in Jr. High she was already living her adult life in Boston. She had moved there to be a journalist and had re-named herself “Cate” when NO ONE was Cate with a “C.” Especially not a Greek girl whose extended family could not understand why she would do this and did we have to call her Cate because she will always be Cathy to us and what the heck we will never get used to Cate.

Side Note: At this point she went rogue. Ok, not really. But as the memories start flooding back to me while I write this, I realize that she really tested the limits of our judgmental conservative, Midwestern, Greek-Orthodox family. First, she had a boyfriend that SHE WAS LIVING WITH. I mean, this was such a scandal at the time that I am nervous putting it in print right now 35 years later. I remember the phone calls between my mother and aunt discussing this unheard-of development. (NOBODY TELL YIAYIA!) Never mind she was in her 30’s with a full-time job half-way across the country. Thank goodness she married the guy. But then there was the non-denominational wedding (hand-wringing) with a lady minister (Kyrie Eleison) where no, they did not read about the Wedding at Cana but instead read from THE VELVETEEN RABBIT (“‘What is real?’ said the rabbit,” the poor bridesmaid choked out through tears).

But the joke was on them. No, it did not turn out to be the happily ever after my mom and aunt had apparently hoped for her, with the Greek husband who did not cook or clean or watch the kids but still made all the decisions. Instead, she found herself an ideal partner. And I mean that. I know very few marriages where the two people appreciate each other strengths and quirks as much as those two do. After 32 years of marriage they still not only love each other, but they like each other too.

But I digress.

We saw her maybe once a year. As far as I was concerned she was not my peer, she was an ADULT. I mean, she called our Aunt Susan “Susan.” By her first name! She didn’t seem to share the family silliness the rest of us shared. (In truth, she has a GREAT sense of humor and when I have the occasional oddball observation or catty comment I know she will laugh without judgement.) It was just hard for me to recognize this as a 12-year-old. I could not relate to this sophisticated cousin I barely knew.

Side Note: We are actually similar in many ways, but I didn’t figure that out until much later. She is smart and sarcastic, and sensitive and funny and a great writer (ok, fine, maybe that one is a stretch for me). She is opinionated and isn’t afraid to go against the grain and say what she believes, regardless of how popular her viewpoint is. She excels at sarcasm and wit. I realize now that I am an adult that she gets me in a way few people do. She was around when I was a very difficult child for my mother. And I think she was there to maybe even give some advice to my mom. Former pain-in-the-ass kids understand current ones better than most.

But then I moved to Boston for grad school. I was 24 and she was 36. We were finally at a point in our lives where age was not a deterrent to friendship. Yes, she was married with a toddler, but we were both adults. I would visit her downtown at her job when I was on campus, and then on the weekends at her house in the suburbs to either babysit or do my laundry, usually both.

My two years in Boston were both the darkest and happiest time of my life. It was a significant period for me and was crucial to who I am today. There were lots of stressors and little support and I was far from home. The fact that Cate and my sister Melissa and I were all living on the East Coast created a forever bond between us.

She is the one I call when I’m not sure if I’m using a semi-colon right (I’m not; like, ever). She is the one who texted me after I wrote a blog on grammar to tell me my grammar is ok but my punctuation could use some help. She is the one who when I was going through a bit of a depression informed me of the not-so-uplifting news that studies say happiness is a bell curve and we are happiest in our 20’s and 60’s (Gee, thanks. That’s promising.)

She is the one known for her creative and thoughtful, often handmade gifts. She is also known for starting said creative and thoughtful, often handmade gifts, and getting them to you one, two, three months (or years) after the event. (This is actually a genetic family trait so I’m not going to fault her on this one.)

She is the one who fan-girled with me at Copley Place in 1994 when Olympic speed skater Dan Jansen was there signing autographs. We waited in a long line so we could have him sign our newly purchased Olympic-themed Swatch watches. She was cool as a cucumber while I said something ridiculous and then bolted.

She is the one who drove over an hour in a snowstorm when I called my sister desperate with grief after my mom died. It was the Nor’easter of 1994 but Cate showed up at my door to take care of me.

She is the one who I think of when I hear Billy Joel, James Taylor, Carole King and Carly Simon.

I have watched more family members nearing the end of their life than I care to remember. This one feels different. There is not a desperate struggle through the next treatment. A blind hope for a miracle. A positive attitude to fight the good fight. I only see an even-keeled acceptance. A serenity that I admire. A gradual decline coupled with increasing support from family and friends. Adjustments have been made to keep her mobile, communicative, and comfortable. I am sure she has her days, but I sure don’t see them. I asked her the other day if she was scared. “No,” she said. “Sad.”

Me too.

***This essay was written before my dear cousin passed away on August 4th, 2022, hence the use of present tense. When she asked me to write this tribute to her, she shared that she hoped she would be able to read it someday. I did, in fact, sent it to her several weeks before she died. I read an edited version for the actual memorial service, but this is the original version. I will miss her terribly. ***

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