This is the final blog in the series.

Jr. High is usually the time when most kids become interested in the opposite sex.  For Teddy, I did not notice much of a change. That’s because he has ALWAYS liked girls.  As young as preschool he would tell me about the girls he liked.  This has continued throughout his school years.  There has never been an “icky” period.  I worried this would be a problem when on the first day of kindergarten he ran out of the classroom telling me he wanted to invite a particular girl to his birthday party.   “Ok, bud.”  I said, wondering if he was aware his birthday was six months away.  “You met a nice friend today?”

“Yes,” he said, “I like her face.”

Skip ahead a couple of years to third grade when he and I were playing a flash card game. One card had a letter on it and another one had a category. On his turn Teddy had to name “something hot” that started with a particular letter.

Well, the letter he picked just happened to be the first letter of the name of a girl he liked.   He got a look on his face and I just knew exactly what he was thinking.  No, I thought, he’s nine.  There is no way his mind would go in that direction.  Sure enough….”I’m gonna take a risk,” he said.  And he said her name and collapsed into a fit of giggles.  “I can’t believe I said that,” he shrieked.  “Mom, you know I was thinking of the other kind of hot, right?”  Dear Lord child, yes, I knew you were thinking that kind of hot.  It’s what worries me.

Later on he was still talking about it as if he were embarrassed. “Teddy, it’s ok that you like girls,” I said, trying to reassure him.

“Good,” he replied, “because I do!”

Modesty came late for him and as I have already outlined, he was comfortable speaking freely with me.  So because of his transparency about girls, I was not expecting any embarrassment or discomfort when around 5th grade I handed him The Book.

Nope. I am NOT talking about the Bible.

“Here buddy,” I said as I handed him The Body Book for Boys. “Check this out and read the first chapters. We can discuss any questions you have after.”

Suddenly I witnessed a reaction I hadn’t seen since I made him eat chicken pot pie a few years prior.

“I don’t want to read this! I know everything! This book is stupid!” I stood dumbfounded observing the weeping and gnashing of teeth.

I tried to be sensitive. I tried to minimize things. Honestly, this book was the EASY stuff! Body odor, body hair, self-esteem, friendship.  It didn’t even cover the awkward parts.

He was not having it. I gave him space. I went back to revisit. Nope. It wasn’t going to happen. I told Ted he was NOT READY.  Ted decided I just hadn’t done it right.

SIDE NOTE:

Right now you are probably wondering why I didn’t have Ted present him with The Book in the first place.  Well, mostly because I am the primary caregiver.  I had found that up until this point he had shared more with me than with his dad.  Secondly, as you will soon see, when Ted DID make his attempt, things didn’t go so well. I won’t say I had a premonition this would happen but…

So when Ted became annoyed with me and decided to take over, he strutted confidently into Teddy’s room. The man of the house would take care of this.

He was gone and back in under a minute. “He doesn’t want to talk about it.”

No kidding. Well at least you tried your very best in that 45 seconds.

Later that evening when Ted and I tucked him into bed we made one last attempt.  Except the book was nowhere to be found.

“I hid that book where you will never find it. I hope I forget where it is and one day when I’m a grown man I’ll find it and say ‘Eww!'”

About a year later we did find it. It was in the pocket in the back of his armchair. I didn’t even know that chair had a pocket.  And I wish I could say we never spoke of it again, but that would be a lie.  In fact, by then he had attended the Robert Crown puberty presentations and we had already discussed everything.  And I really wish I could share THAT part of the story with you because that part has so many laughs (and a few tears); unfortunately, that’s more of an NC-17 post and I’m afraid that’s not the kind of blog I write.  But if you ever see me and ask, it IS the kind of story I will tell in person.  😉

 

PS. Like me, he either has no problem sacrificing himself for a laugh, or is self-assured enough to share his funny and embarrassing stories. Either way, rest assured, he gave me full permission to post this story.

Above: This is 14.

Top: Each year on his birthday I take a picture of Teddy in one of Ted’s old button-downs to see how he’s grown.  Some years are startlingly different from the next.  Others I have had to peer at closely to see what was on my bedside table or which comforter we were using for clues.   Although I wish I had picked a different background that was less subject to change and poor lighting, the gist is there.  This is the metamorphosis of my first-born.