From my earliest memory, I can remember thinking of her as a mother figure. She was the one who took me to college and showed me around campus to get me settled. She was the one who drove me around when I needed rides. She was the one who looked out for me when we went to camp together. And she was the one who drove with a one-year-old from her house in Rhode Island to my apartment in Boston, through the Nor’easter of 1994, to be with me when I called her hysterical with grief a few months after my mom died.

There have been more times than I can count where I have accidentally called her Mom.

It is a family joke that everyone loves Melissa. She was my mom’s favorite and everyone knew it. One of those things that’s so obvious that it’s more annoying and predictable rather than jealousy-inducing. After my mom died it just became transferred over to all the aunts who marvel at her talents. Every holiday Chris and I would get ready for the adulation that would be thrown her way.

“Oh Melissa, this dessert is beautiful! Oh Melissa, look what you did with this antique sideboard! Oh Melissa, how clever is this idea to have turkey on Thanksgiving!”

We would roll our eyes and crack up.

But here is the reason behind it. She works full time. She manages her house. She has four kids living at home, three of them who are constantly belting out show tunes which is enough to make me ready to pack my bags after a few days visiting. She has a dog, a cat, and too many rabbits. She helps with the church and is involved in volunteering for her kids’ theatre productions. She and her husband have their own coffee roasting business. And most importantly, she has taken over as the mother figure for Chris’ three kids who only live a couple of miles away. And she is always, always, there if Abe or I need her. She never puts us off. We know if we need her she will put us first. She really listens and she makes you feel important.

And the reason there is no jealousy over someone like that is because honestly, if you had the choice to be that person or have that person as your sister, you would pick the selfish choice.

Happy Mother’s Day to the next best thing to having my own mother still around.