This is the true story of four family members who chose to get on a plane, rent a car, drive down the California coast, and have their vacation documented.  Find out what happens when people stop being polite, and start getting real.

The Real World: Pacific Coast Highway

Day Four:

9am: Wake up and spend morning on Santa Cruz Boardwalk.

12:00pm: Grab Starbucks and notice they give you a straw this time. Score!  Quickly realize it’s a paper straw, as after three sips the straw is no longer usable and your mouth feels as if it is filled with paper mache.

1:00pm: Go to Mystery Spot of Santa Cruz and experience a place where the “laws of gravity and physics” seem to disappear. Get successfully fooled by strange tour guide and question if up is really up and down is really down.

 

2:00pm: Leave Santa Cruz.  Stop at CVS and buy another eye kit. Drive to Monterey for the night.

6:00pm: Have dinner at a restaurant in Carmel that allows dogs. Watch adorable dog eye Franny’s chicken wings through dinner.

            

9:00pm: Arrive at hotel. Watch Ted spend considerable amount of time trying to fix glasses with no success.  Go to bed.

Day Five:

9:00am: Wake up and travel the 17-mile Drive through Carmel.

3:00pm: Start the trek down Big Sur.  Against better judgment, attempt to fix Ted’s glasses during car ride.  So far tiny screw is through one side but not the other.  Realize the problem is that tiny screw is too big and is now jammed.  After trying all five tiny screws included in kit, conclude none are the right size and it is a lost cause.

8:00pm: Arrive in San Simeon.  Check in to hotel, order pizza and go to bed.

Day Six: 

9:00am: Wake up and tour Hearst Castle.  Have lunch and get on the road.

12:00pm.  Arrive at Pismo Beach.  Spend day swimming and sunbathing.   Notice that a few feet away are some lone sand buckets and plastic shovels.  Tell kids to go ahead and use them as no one has been around since we arrived.  Assure them that if they belonged to anyone the owners would have been back by now to collect them and there would be towels nearby.  Kids grab pails and see that one is filled rocks.  Kids hesitate.  “Someone’s rocks are in here.” Reassure them that it’s fine to use them.  Kids dump buckets and see that they are not filled with rocks but rather SNAILS in shells.  Many many snails in shells.  Kids freak out.  Calm kids down and tell them to PLEASE JUST PLAY TOGETHER WITH THE DARN SAND TOYS SO I CAN RELAX. Kids play in the sand for approximately six minutes and go back to the ocean.   Lay back and close eyes.  After three minutes hear small voice say, “Hey! Where’s my snails??” Freeze.  Panic.  Carefully open one eye and see six or seven-year-old boy searching inside now empty pails.  See burly tattooed dad walk over from beach towel that is only about four feet away.  Wonder how much he saw.  Wonder if you should confess.  Decide against it.  Hear Ted whisper, “We need to tell them!”  Whisper back, “No way!” in sternest voice you can muster.

“They’re looking for those snails we dumped out..”

“I DON’T CARE. THEY WILL FIND THEM IN THE SAND!”

“Samanth…we need to tell them we were borrowing their—”

Give Ted your best “I will murder you if you say one thing” look and give him final “SHUSH.”

Boy and dad finally walk away after fruitless search for snails that must have either suffocated in the sand or crawled away.  Quickly gather kids and towels and bags and call an early end to beach day.

3:00pm: Drive to Santa Barbara, grab dinner, and go to bed.

Stay tuned for the final entry in the travel diary…Disney may be the happiest place on earth…but CAN THEY FIX PRESCRIPTION SUNGLASSES?????