The dishes seem to ALMOST make it to the sink, but not quite.

If this is the time we should be taking care to be the cleanest we can be…why is everything going downhill so quickly?

Day Eleven (Tuesday, March 24th)

I will admit that we have cleaning ladies who come every two weeks.  Of course, they have not come since the quarantine and this shows when you walk into my house.  Last week, we all chipped in and it went great.  No one complained and our house looked surprisingly clean.  It was so painless, in fact, that at the time I actually considered permanently canceling them.  “Hey, this is awesome,” I thought, “I can save myself some cash and it really isn’t that bad when everyone does their part.”

This week that theory has been greatly tested.  The dirt on the floor and scum in the bathtub is building up.  Which is I guess what happens when four people and a dog rarely leave the house.  In a weak moment, I consider asking the ladies to come over.  I think about how we could all (dog included) just sit in the driveway for two hours and wait for them to be done.  I mean, they are coming with BLEACH and SANITIZER!  What could be safer??  I am helping a small business thrive and our house gets clean!  Win-Win!  It seems rational at the time.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.  I decide against it when I realize how bored I will be sitting on the driveway for so long.

Day Twelve (Wednesday, March 25th)

Today marks the day I ask myself, “Is it really necessary to shower?”

Day Thirteen (Thursday, March 26th)

Today is the day I stop wearing jeans and move over to yoga pants.  I can’t believe I held out for so long.

Day Fourteen (Friday, March 27th)

At this point, I am eating just to survive.  Nothing is really enjoyable and no matter how many times I walk to the pantry or open the fridge, the same food stares back at me. Not having the opportunity to go out to eat wears hard on our spirits and its amazing that we depend so much on dining out for our happiness. On the other hand, our newfound love for baking has increased, along with my girth.  Also, it is crazy to me that I spent over $300 on groceries last week and our fridge is empty.  Just how much are we eating??

Where is all our food??

Day Fifteen (Saturday, March 28th)

Although my kids have been awesome considering our situation, they still aren’t putting their dirty dishes in the dishwasher even though we have been working on this for 11 days (and 11 years.)  Today I discover there are four stages of loading the dishwasher.

Stage one: Bring your dishes to the kitchen.  My kids are really good about this and have been at this stage for years.

Stage two: Put the dishes in the sink, not just next to it.  This is the stage we are working on.  I have told them numerous times not to stack the dishes on the small counter space next to the sink but they do it anyway.  We have had tutorials on how to load the dishwasher. Nope.  Still next to the sink.

I am constantly cleaning dishes. This was taken before noon and it’s already crowded.

Stage three/four: Rinse off the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.  These two stages should always go together.  You should not have one without the other.  (Hence, stage three/four.) But this is not always the case.  This, by the way, is Ted’s favorite stage.  In fact, he rinses and cleans dishes off SO well that 75% of the time I cannot distinguish between clean and dirty dishes.  More than once I have emptied half of the load to suddenly notice something greasy and discover it was actually dirty.  Now if I’m not sure I resort to the “Athena test,” which is calling the dog in and seeing if she sniffs and walks away or starts licking everything (also known in our house as the “pre-wash.”)

Side Note:   I actually had to call Teddy back into the kitchen THREE TIMES today to get him to put his dish in the dishwasher. The first time he only put his dish in the sink.  The second time he rinsed it off and placed in back in the sink.  The third time he actually put in in the dishwasher.  Victory is mine!

Day Sixteen (Sunday, March 29th)

Today I receive the not unexpected news that my hair appointment has been canceled.   As mentioned earlier, I have already switched out of constricting pants. I haven’t had my nails done in weeks.  Never mind the fact that by the time this quarantine is over I am going to have a full-on mustache and unibrow. Honestly, its the first time relatives are going to tell me I look more like my dad than my mom. Vanity is out the window.

Warning: If you hear about any Groucho Marx sightings on Next-Door, don’t worry.  It’s just me.