In a cruel twist of fate this year, “Spring Break” came and went without anyone really noticing.  What I have realized is that keeping track of the days while blogging is pointless as they seem to drag on like Groundhog Day.  Plus, maybe we are in the new normal and “quarantine blogging” isn’t novel anymore.  It just “blogging.”

The one good thing that has come out of this is my kids are playing together a lot and have not had one argument.  They have been doing puzzles, building with Lego, doing soccer skills, playing ping pong, air hockey, basketball, and baking cookies together. On week two they mastered the Rubik’s cube and this week are playing chess.  Yippee!    This makes it almost worth the five weeks together. Almost, but not quite.

Like many families, we have also been playing a lot of board games.  We have always been a board game playing family, ever since the Candyland days.  However, with sports practices almost every night, the past few years have been hit or miss.  It has been nice to get back to it.  Since the quarantine began, we have rotated through every board game we own, and we own A LOT of board games.

Side Note: We are also working on 1000-piece puzzles.  We have been finishing about one a week.  The first was popcorn, the second was candy, and shockingly, when we got to puzzle number three, a gorgeous view of the skyline of Santorini, our excitement fizzled out.  This one has been on our table for three weeks and I can’t help wondering if it’s because it’s not food-related.

Here’s the thing: Even though we play the same games over and over, each time we bring out the evening choice we have to re-explain the rules to Ted.  Now I’m not sure if this is just a ruse, but none of us can understand why someone who can quote the entire script of The Hunt for Red October cannot remember how to play Scrabble.

Exhibit A: Quirkle:  Simple game:  You have to match either the color or the shape.  Sometimes it gets tricky and you have to match BOTH.  It’s really just a matter of knowing your shapes and colors which is early level learning.  Maybe he is color blind?  Despite questionable wardrobe choices, no, he is not colorblind.  For example, an orange circle does not match with a purple X.  Or as we call this shape when we play, “Jumpy guy.”  (Yes, I did stop several games over the past few weeks to take pictures.  I explained that I was doing “research.”)

Clue:  This is a fun one.  Ted is usually the one who suggests this game although I don’t think he has ever won it.  Maybe he thinks because of his background and experience as an investigator he will be the first person in the history of Clue to be able to guess the killer on round three?  How can you possibly make an educated guess when you’ve only been in the bathroom, the kitchen, and the billiards room?  Maybe he is just done playing and wants to go upstairs and have time to himself. I don’t blame him.

Exhibit B: Saboteur: This is an amazing card game we love.  At the start of the game you get one of these two cards telling you whether or not you are the “Saboteur” for the game:

I can’t tell you how many times when we first played this game he would receive his card and ask “How do I know if I’m the Saboteur?”  To which we would all groan and collect the cards to reshuffle, saying to him, “If you have to ask, you are NOT the Saboteur!!” When he IS the Saboteur, we all know it because he starts accusing everyone else.  He has a terrible poker face.

Monopoly is boring and everyone knows that and maybe that is why Ted tries to trade property cards almost immediately after starting the game.  He will offer bad trades to everyone. “I’ll give you Baltic Avenue for Park Place.”  Umm, no.  “I’ll give you Indiana Ave even though you have no other red properties for Atlantic Ave which will complete my yellow monopoly.” It’s so incessant that eventually, we all turn against him and make a pact to not trade with him for the rest of the game.

Pente and Otrio are both games that require some teamwork.  You need to work defense and offense and sometimes TWO players have to work together to block one player.  Not with Ted.  He is strictly offense.  This means the two people who go AFTER him end up being all-time defense and the third person wins. These two games usually turn into chaos with everyone shouting at him “Block her! Block him!”  Because of the rule of clockwise play, I have learned that sitting to the right of Ted is the money spot for Pente and Otrio.

Exhibit C: Ticket to Ride: This particular recent game of Ticket to Ride might have been the impetus for this blog. It’s not a hard game to play and we play it all the time.  In order to lay down track, you need a set of matching colored cards.  Below you will see Ted’s first play. He was a good sport for letting me stop the game to take a picture.  I don’t know.  Maybe he IS colorblind.

Exhibit D: Scrabble: Scrabble is the best game for pure entertainment.  There are always words people try to slip in as legitimate every now and again.  Whether it is slang or a proper noun, once in a while you might get challenged.   Today, I will only focus on my two favorite stories.  The first was when he insisted that “Tronch” was a word and was so invested he accepted a challenge and (not surprisingly) lost.  Even spellcheck has been reminding me that it isn’t a word while I have been writing this post.***Ted’s amendment after reading this blog: Tranche IS a word meaning “portion,” most recently used in 2018 during the Greek bailout where Greece received a “tranche” of a loan from the European Union.”***

But the best Scrabble mishap has to be shown below, where to our utter astonishment, Ted laid down these tiles. His explanation?  Faux.  Not only is it spelled wrong, but it’s placed going upwards.  I really don’t know what else to say.

In all honesty, playing games with the family has always been a fun bonding experience for us.  And as much as I make fun of Ted, we do need one person in this family who isn’t so serious about winning.  He (and Franny, quite honestly) have provided a nice balance and some levity to my Teddy’s competitive streak.  In fact, many years ago, when Teddy was in preschool, we had to start a routine whenever we ended a game.  The loser was required to say, “Congratulations on being a good winner.” And the winner had to say, “Congratulations on being a good sport.” All while shaking hands. It was the only way to keep Teddy from throwing an absolute temper tantrum when he lost.

And for those of you thinking, “Why wouldn’t she just let a three-year-old win the game?” Ummm, have we met?