And I feel fine.

I have a confession to make:  I get a little bit sad thinking about the fact that this quarantine is going to end.

Don’t get me wrong.  I want to go out and see my friends.  I want to go to Starbucks ALONE and sit INSIDE by myself.  I miss going to church and seeing my family.   I am dying to snuggle and smoosh all the little babies I haven’t seen in ages. I want to relax at the pool.  I want my kids to be able to go to camp and play soccer and go back to school in the fall.  For gosh’s sake, I NEED TO GET MY EYEBROWS DONE!!  But I am also falling into this domestic life of doing nothing.

Ok, “doing nothing” isn’t exactly accurate. In fact, there are days when I feel busier than I was before the pandemic. Sometimes I feel that all I do is cook and clean and organize and let the dog in and out.  Then there are all the home projects I have felt compelled to take on.  We are nine weeks in and the garage is clean, the basement is purged of boxes, the photo albums are reorganized, the videos are labeled, and the baby toys have been given away.  We even hired a junk man to come and clear away all the debris that has been sitting by the side of the garage for 10 years.

But even with all this busyness, there is a sense of peace and calm that I haven’t felt in a long time.

You see, the thing is, I really don’t HAVE to do anything.  There is no running from guitar lessons to soccer practice.  No picking up kids for carpool and dropping them off only to rush back and pick another kid up so I can be back home by 7:30pm to start a late dinner.  No eating in different shifts, going to bed exhausted, and waking up cranky.  No birthday parties or school parties or committee meetings. No late workdays and long commutes for Ted. No late nights for kids who didn’t have time to do homework because of sports practices.  In fact, there is no rush to be anywhere or get anything done.  Our biggest decision is where we will get our take-out from Saturday nights.

We wake up when we want and go to bed when we want.  We finish chores and projects on our own time.  Honestly, even schoolwork doesn’t REALLY have a deadline. But the biggest change is that each night we eat dinner together.  We sit at the table and rotate who picks the board game we are going to play.  Sometimes after dinner, we take a family walk with the dog. Occasionally we watch a movie as a family.  (Ted and I have introduced the kids to West Side Story and Field of Dreams. I’ll let you guess which parent chose which😊.)

We are in a comfortable groove of being together.

The best outcome has been that my kids have started to look to each other as their “go-to.”  They play Xbox, bake cookies, shoot baskets, bike ride, and practice soccer together. They not only enjoy being together, they actually seek each other out.  I don’t think this would have happened if we were experiencing a typical summer.  I am grateful that they have fulfilled this need for friendship and camaraderie with each other.  It’s real.  And it’s working.

I have not forgotten the seriousness of why we are following a stay-at-home order. I have not forgotten that people are sick and dying and this is for the safety of our country.  And the fact that I rarely have time to myself anymore is often a struggle.  (It has taken me DAYS to write this short little blog.)  But I know I am going to look back on this time with bittersweet longing.  And for right now, for a little bit longer, I don’t mind staying in my quarantine bubble.