So it seems that summer break is over.  Did anyone notice?  Did anyone realize back when summer officially began?  Does anyone else feel like we are living in some sort of time warp?  Like time is going by so slowly but also quickly?  Even though I have all the time in the world the days fly by and I find I’ve gotten nothing done. I have had a photo album project sprawled across my dining room table for weeks. At any other time, I would relish an extra week to work on this.  Yet I’ve had days, weeks, months even, and I can’t seem to be motivated to work on it.   Time seems to be slipping away but nothing is changing. And instead of things getting easier as I adjust more to this new normal, they seem to be getting harder.  I am having such a difficult time focusing, staying on task, and getting things done.  Proof of this is the fact that I haven’t written a blog in over two months.

When the virus hit, it was technically still winter.  We had at least one snowfall while on lockdown.  And then spring and then summer and now we are in August and school is starting and it feels like we didn’t even have a summer but also like all we have been doing is summer.  And it’s really hard to enjoy “downtime” when that’s all you have.  I haven’t done any of the things I planned do and was so motivated to do back in March.  And I’m worried that I should be using this time for learning and growing but instead I’m just wasting it.  

What I have learned, however, is that the less you have to do, the less you get done.  I have also learned you can run every day and walk the dog every day and still mysteriously gain weight.  I have learned that the only thing worse than a muffin top is when there is also a muffin middle and a muffin bottom.   I have learned that when you are with your family all day every day when you finally go on vacation it doesn’t exactly feel like a vacation.  You are still with the same people, doing the same things, having the same arguments, except now you are doing it in a nicer house on a lake.  I have learned that my extroverted self is becoming more and more introverted and that I have no desire to go anywhere or do anything anymore.  I have learned that my husband would rather have a sandwich on anything but bread. Hamburger buns, pitas, bagels. I mean, he literally will not eat bread.   I have learned that my kids only use their drinking glasses for one glass of water and then get a new one for their next glass of water.  The good news is: I now know they are each getting their required 8 glasses of water a day.  I have learned that when your kids eat lunch at home every day each morning starts with “Can we go to Chik-fil-A?” like it’s a normal request.  I have learned that, yes, kids can stare at a 5 x 2-inch phone screen for 7 hours a day 6 inches from their face and still want more.   I have learned that Arrested Development is just as funny this time around and that Jason Bateman has aged incredibly well.  I have learned that if you teach a dog to press a button to get a treat she will press that button 57 times a day until you finally hide the button.  In fact, I have learned enough these past five months to live a lifetime and am quite frankly done with the learning and the self-reflecting and the analysis of why Ted would rather stuff a piece of ham inside a hot dog bun instead of two slices of wheat bread. 

Thankfully school started this week.  I know that because my son is in front of a screen in the basement now instead of in front of a screen in his bedroom.  He comes up every now and then to ask what’s for dinner and to get another glass of water.  I feel bad he is missing soccer this fall and can’t go to school, but he is resilient and after seeing all the PPE he would have had to wear maybe it’s better this way.  

Franny starts next week.  Honestly, it’s five days away and we have no schedule, no books and no idea what’s happening.  For her, I am just praying her new contacts come in because she has been wearing her sports goggles for three weeks now and that’s no way to start middle school.

You could say I’m losing it.  In fact, if I write the blog I want to write or feel like writing, someone is going to send over a wellness check for me because this quarantine is getting to me. Remember my blog back in June when I said I was enjoying this?  That was (relatively) mentally stable Samantha.  This is I-need-to-get-out-of-this-house-and-have-some-space-of-my-own-and-everyone-get-the-heck-away-from-me-and-stop-using-17-glasses-a-day-and-just-put-your-turkey-on-a-regular-piece-of-bread Samantha. 

But that’s for another blog. Or maybe just my personal diary. 🙂

Personal Protection Equipment kids were given back when they were still supposed to have a hybrid schedule: Mask plus face shield .