Our family loves road trips. This is how I vacationed as a kid and I have passed this love on to my kids. I have even converted Ted. There is nothing like being in a car together and doing things we can only do on the road: Stopping whenever we want. Visiting tacky tourist traps. Engaging in the always competitive License Plate Game. (Which I won.)

Something about exploring the United States really brings us together.

This year we decided to take a road trip to Savannah with a stop in Nashville.

Another bonus of driving is that I can take as much luggage as I want. So for one week I pack 14 outfits (one for day and one for night). Yes, I realize that not once have I ever changed my clothes mid-day on a vacation, but I am pretty sure this is the trip where I will start a new tradition. I bring four pairs of shoes. Yes, it’s possible I will not wear heels since we are headed to a walking city and to the beach, but I might need those grey strappy sandals with the stacked heel. I will feel better having them with me. I also make sure to include a different pair of earrings and different necklaces for each outfit. I mean, okay, I know I usually wear studs every day, but you never know. I want to be prepared. And finally, I load my travel bag with my entire skin care and makeup regimen plus back up makeup and an exfoliating mask and WHY YES I AM BRINGING THAT SPARKLY EYESHADOW I LAST WORE ON NEW YEAR’S EVE 2018 why do you ask??

I end up wearing the same two pairs of stretchy pants and t-shirts the entire time.

Since we are headed to 75-degree weather, the kids and I hop in the car ready for the heat. We are wearing t-shirts and shorts. Ted is wearing Loyola clothes and dressed for a blizzard. He does not care that we are headed south, he is determined to show his support for his alma mater because they are playing in the Sweet Sixteen this year. This includes a Loyola sweatshirt, Loyola t-shirt underneath, Loyola hat, and the pièce de résistance: his Loyola scarf. Due to the unfortunate coincidence of Loyola and Gryffindor having the same school colors, the scarf is the accessory that causes friends and strangers alike to wonder why a grown man is dressed as Harry Potter.

Since our trip was last minute, we couldn’t get our dog into the kennel we usually use. After researching a few other options, we get a referral from a friend who knows a young woman looking for some work while on break.

Side Note: Someday I may write a whole blog on how differences in what married couples value can cause Friction but for right now I will just say that along with Faith and Family, Ted values Security. This means he bolts the door when he is in the house, no matter what time of day it is. When you arrive home, you might be locked out and actually have to phone from the other side of the door for someone to let you in. It also means he sets the house alarm when he leaves, even if you are home, leading to blaring sirens when you open the back door to let the dog out. Or, if you are walking the dog and you are gone for a while, he might call to find out if you are ok. “Yes. I’m fine. It’s NOON. I have a DOG with me. I am IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.” You can see how when one spouse values security and let’s just say, hypothetically, the other values independence, there might be conflict. But like I said, that’s for another blog.

Here is my point: everything he does is done with thoughts of safety and security at the forefront.

That’s why, for Christmas, I got Ted a Ring doorbell which came with a Blink camera. I don’t know how we did not have either of these gadgets already with Ted’s job (and life) being all about Security and Loss Prevention, but it was LITERALLY and FIGURATIVELY Christmas morning for Ted. He immediately set them both up on Christmas Day. I will say, the doorbell has been a real benefit since before this we did not have a doorbell and we live on a busy street. The camera, on the other hand, is set up in the kitchen and really just acts as a decorative accessory. It’s hooked up to an app so I can see (and hear) what’s happening in the kitchen from my phone. “Ted, I see you are getting ice cream. Please bring me some too.” In reality, the only time this camera has been used is by me when I am at work and I want to check on the kids during lunch and scare them. “I SEE YOU TAKING AN EXTRA BAG OF CHIPS!”

Back to my story. A very pleasant and agreeable young woman comes over to meet us. I will call her “Georgina.” Because her name was Georgina. We like her, Athena likes her, and we decide to hire her to watch our house and dog. But she is still a stranger to us, so I decide I’m not going to just leave my valuables out for all to see. Did I mention we have a heavy, metal safe that we don’t use that takes up a bunch of room in our closet? Ted has the idea that I should put my jewelry box in the safe and then hide the safe inside his car in the garage. He is concerned the safe is not drilled into the floor and someone can just steal the whole safe. I am concerned it is way easier to break into our garage and steal our car than move a 500-pound safe I literally cannot budge with my own weight.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), my jewelry box does not fit inside the safe. I find a good place to hide it and come back to see Ted putting his “spare wallet” inside the safe. Here I am worried about valuable and sentimental jewels passed down for generations while Ted is locking away his Best Buy and Firestone cards. The kids and I pack the car while Ted sets the house up a la Kevin McCallister in Home Alone. He moves the Blink camera to the very inconspicuous living room windowsill with the cord running down the middle of the couch. He makes sure all the windows are locked and outdoor lights are on. I am waiting for him to put marbles on the hallway floor and rig the doggie door.

Finally, we are on the road. I’m navigating and Ted is driving, which is the way it always is even though it usually ends in arguments and missed exits. Today, it results in Ted’s rotary mishap where we end up going around the entire traffic-circle twice as everyone is shouting instructions. Suddenly, we are the Griswolds maneuvering Southeast Indiana.

I stop being the navigator and turn Waze on through the car Bluetooth in order to decrease arguments since it is only Day One after all. I browse through the voices looking for Cookie Monster. (If you haven’t used Cookie Monster as your guide, you are missing out. He is full of entertainment). I can’t find Cookie Monster, so I choose “Boy Band English” instead. I have no idea what it is but it seems like it might be good. “Good” is an understatement. For the rest of the day it seems like Davy Jones, Harry Styles is giving us directions. “Heavy traffic reported ahead,” he says in his lilting voice. It doesn’t matter how many times we hear him, we never get tired of hearing his traffic report in his singsong voice.

As we travel along, sheer boredom causes me to start getting invested in Waze. Did you know you can become a Waze Editor? Relax, I did not do that. Not only does it seem like a big commitment, but also I am not very good with directions and I can see thousands of people getting lost as I start changing street names and highway exits and highlighting Starbucks stores. As we travel along, I notice that Waze will occasionally ask me, “Still there?” I will admit, at first, I thought he was asking me if I was alert and paying attention, like when my Toyota asks me if I need a coffee break when my driving is slow or erratic. But no, Davy was asking me if the roadblock he just told me about was “still there.”

This is like an epiphany for me. Suddenly I am drunk with Waze power. “Pothole straight ahead.” Still there? Yes! The pothole is still there. “Police up ahead,” Davy sings. “Still there?” NO! He is gone! NOT THERE! CLICK! This keeps me busy for about 20 minutes until it becomes way too much responsibility and focus for me.

About midway through the ride I receive a text from a family friend that includes her husband and Ted on it as well. I respond to her text and suddenly hear a (seemingly unrelated) barking sound. “Where did that come from?” I say, looking around to see if someone is watching a funny animal video. “Oh,” Ted says, “that’s my notification for your texts.” WAIT WHAT? My notification is a BARK?? Who is the dog, Ted? I am the dog? I am the dog?

We arrive in Nashville making very good time, however, with the weather forecast, we know that we have only a little bit of light left before the rain hits us. What exactly do Greek people do with limited time in the great city of Nashville? Do we go listen to country music? No way, there is no Bouzouki player in a country band. Do we go have the famous hot chicken or BBQ? Of course not, it’s LENT for goodness sakes! No, instead, like every good Greek American family, we go visit the exact replica of the Parthenon!! Yep, we did it. Thankfully we take some pictures just as it gets dark. Phew.

By the time we get to the hotel, it is pouring rain. There is a flood advisory. We are supposed to leave in the morning for Savannah.

Ted: What time is check-out? There is a flood advisory. We might have to stay here for a while tomorrow.

Me: We are not staying here. There is not going to be a flood.🙄🙄 Suddenly I am reminded of the great Wyoming tornado chase of 2016. Ted wanted to stop in a random Dollar Store out in the middle of nowhere and ask to go in their basement and I wanted him to step on the gas while I watched the radar. (See Security vs. Independence)

And how did our road trip end? Well, we left the next day (as scheduled) and ended up making it to Savannah safely, and having a lovely four days. I wore the same two outfits, did not change my jewelry once, and never pulled out those grey strappy heels. Georgie did a fabulous job watching our house and our dog. Athena loved Georgie and got lots of attention and trips to the dog park. My jewelry was safe and Ted’s Best Buy card was not compromised. In fact, I would say Spring Break 2021 was a success for everyone.

Well, for everyone except Loyola.

And in case you were wondering…back in 2016? We did outrun that tornado.

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